Similarities

I was just looking through my photos and remembered I did a photo comparison of the boys when they were just 1 day old. Wow they were so similar. As Blake gets older I can see the differences more and more but u can undoubtedly tell they are brothers. The one that blows me away is the fine little line that runs down the front of both of their noses just slightly to the right of the middle of the nose.

Confessions

1/1/13 Happy New Year!

So I have decided that in order to smash my weightless goals I have to fully embrace where I am now and how I got here. This is probably going to be the hardest blog post I have ever done. Admitting ur weight is a very hard thing to do but by doing so u have owned up to it, u can't hide from it any longer, can't just ignore it and pretend it isn't there.

When I walked down the aisle on my wedding day 12/6/09 I was 71kg. My goal then had been 65kg but I never made it. In september i fell pregnant and sadly lost it and again had another long miscarriage in January 10. 8 months of unsuccessful trying and i had gained 15kg and was up to 86kg. It was a very long emotional time, I ate too much didn't exercise enough.
When I fell pregnant in December 2010 I was too scared to exercise so didn't throughout my whole pregnancy other going on very light walks. I gained too much weight and on the day i gave birth to Tyler I weighed in at 110kg :(
After he was born I tried to get back into exercise but I took time as I wasn't really trying too hard and not eating overly well and 6 months later I weighed in at 86.5kg but that month found out I was pregnant again.
Again my fear of miscarriage had me too scared to exercise and although I ate better if I don't exercise I gain weight.
On the day Blake was born I weighed in at 104.4kg. :(
3 1/2 weeks on and I have lost 11.1kg and weigh in at 93.3kg. Ouch. But I do have to start somewhere. I am eating well but ensuring enough calories for BFing. I have started light walks 5km/hour for 40mins. Only doing 3.3km all up and I can feel my body still has healing to do so the light walks are good right now. I will build back up to running but at the moment just doing what I can. :)
I will weigh in everyday. I know it's not the best idea but I do anyway so i might as well log it.

Starting weight: 104.4kg (7/12/12)
Goal: 65kg
1/1/13: 93.3kg (11.1kg lost/28.3kg to go)

2013

It's NYE tomorrow marks the start of a new year.
I have to say i am certainly looking forward to it!
2012 wasn't the best year for us. It started off very badly. Ben with his PND and the drugs and gambling and me no longer being able to help him :( we separated and it was a very difficult time.
Due to one night of not thinking I fell pregnant in march. At first I really wasn't sure how to deal with this. It was a very bad time and at that point in time I didn't see any hope of ben and I getting back together.
When my lease was due for renewal ben asked if we could move back in together and I agreed for the boys. Surprisingly ben turned a leaf and completely changed. We still have our difficult days but since we sold our house and no longer have financial ties to either family our relationship is so much stronger.

In september Tyler turned one and then
In december our little Blake was born.

These first few months will be a transition always is. I remember when Tyler hit 4 months everything changed. I don't particularly enjoy this newborn stage. Its all sleeping, pooing and eating. I don't even get to cuddle Blake much other than feeding time as I am so busy with Tyler. Blake is self settler so I notice he is tired and pop him in his crib and he puts himself to sleep! I love the stage when then start to notice the world, when they are a bit stronger and not so fragile. When they begin to smile and giggle and respond to u. I am really looking forward to getting to that point. Tyler was 6 week when he first smiled and from there it all started to change but it was at about 4 months when he really started to become his own little man.

I can't wait for the boys to be able to interact more. :)

All this is going to happen next year.
2013 is going to be a great year :)

Blogging

So I have been thinking about this blog for the last couple of weeks and trying to decide what I want to do with it.

It originally started out as a TTC blog a place where I could come and vent and share my journey. Now I have two gorgeous little boys and for now my family is complete.

I am now aiming to lose all my baby weight that I gained since I started TTC in July 2009. 30kg is a lot of weight to lose and it will be challenging being so busy with 2 under 2. Perhaps I can blog this journey.

Also having 2 under 2 sharing the journey of this might be an idea as I can imagine although it's been rather easy so far I suspect it will get harder. I do know I enjoy reading Jess's blog about her experience of 2 boys under2.

I am also going to have to return to work in 2013. This is something that has been on my mind for long time. I am thinking a career change is in order but I have no idea where to or doing what. Something I am going to have to put a lot of thought into.

I guess I do still have a lot to blog about it's just a matter of finding time. I do need a layout change etc. This one is getting really old now. Also need to update those tickers! Maybe later when the boys are napping.

Poor little Blake had a really bad night last night. Not sure what was bothering him. :( he is sound asleep now thank goodness as even in the few hours sleep He did manage He was very restless so didn't get into a deep sleep. Maybe it was something I ate yesterday? I was very angry at myself though as I was just so tired and I just wanted to go to sleep. He can't help it :( poor bugger. I just got frustrated with him and I shouldn't have.

The end of this week will be very interesting. Ben's nanna passed away yesterday so he had to go back home for the funeral. :( unfortunately we can't afford for him to fly so he is driving back with his 2 brothers that also live near us. That means he will gone for 4 days!
That leaves me with Tyler and Blake on my own. I am sure we will be fine, dinner and bath time is the hardest. I can feed blake and Tyler at the same time no problems there I have done that many times now but bathing is different. We will work it out :)

Tomorrow is a new year and I'm really looking forward to it :) love my little family :)

Blake weeks 0-3

Seeing as we are looking at how fast Tyler changed thought i should show how much little Blake has changed too!
I would do this first month with Tyler but I don't have those pics on my phone anymore.
Newborn
1week
2weeks
3weeks

Tyler 7-12months

Tyler's first 6 months

Some photos of how fast they change!

We have a sleeper!

Little Blake is 3 weeks old now and so far it appears we have a sleeper. Hopefully I don't jinx myself lol.

Other than his 2 day growth spurt christmas eve and Christmas day where he woke every 2 hours he normally sleeps 3-4hour blocks. Last night he went from 7:45pm-12:45am fed until nearly 2am and slept until 5:15am! Couldn't believe it! Tyler woke every 2 hours for months and was so bad at his day naps. Blake can actually already settle himself back to sleep. Although a screaming toddler does make that hard for him sometime.

Even though I am getting so much more sleep I feel more tired than I did with Tyler. I have a really stuff neck so maybe a trip to the chiropractor might help. It's a little hard at the moment though without a routine knowing my luck Blake will want a feed right at my appointment time.

BFing is going so much better now. My nipples are all healed so I no longer have to use shields. Blake is attaching heaps better and feeding really well. My milk feels like it's establishing well this time.

We had a wonderful Christmas.
Tyler was old enough this year to understand things a little bit. He enjoyed all of his present played with them heaps. Boxing day I put the tree away and also some toys. I pulled out all the toys blake will start using soon and kept out the next stage ones for Tyler. Still lots of toys out though my whole living area is his play space.

Little Blake is now 4.2kg and 54cm! Growing so fast.

Tyler is doing well although has started the full on tantrums. Didn't helped having guests here that would run and give him attention as soon as he started his tantrum. May take some time but hopefully we will get back into his happy independent play. While i'm BFing he needs to be able to happily occupy myself.

So the 1/1/13 is a couple of days away and I have given myself nearly a month to recover from the birth so am looking forward to getting stuck into loosing this baby weight. My goal is to lose 30kg. Hopefully at least 25kg before my sisters wedding in august. I lost 11kg since the birth and I am planning on easing into things this time. I pushed it a bit hard after Tyler this time I know better. Slow walks and things to begin. The boys seem to be napping at the same time every day and as Blake is sleeping so well at night I don't need a day nap so am planning on using that time to start exercising. See how we go I won't beat myself up if I don't get to exercise every day. The house needs a good clean first lol

And talking of house work I should get started!

Life with 2

Little Blake is now 9 days old and sleeping like a champion :) this of course still might change once he hits the 2 week mark but at the moment the sleep is definitely helping everyone.

Tyler has settled in well with him so far again though it's still early days. The thing putting him out the most is the people who have come to help. My sister didn't stick to any of his routines or feeding or anything. Lucky for me he still goes down for his nap and his bed time fine. MIL has been here for a few days and omg the woman needs to relax. I'm a laid back person and although I like to stick to tylers routine we have no other engagements or appointments we need to be at. U go about ur day and it all gets done. MIL flies around the house like a chicken with her head cut off and it's making me anxious. It just radiates off her. She also can handle the kids crying at all. Tyler is learning very fast that if he throws a tantrum nanna comes immediately running! She also doesn't allow him any independent play time. I completely understand she is wanting to get to know him but he can't do anything without her being right there. She constantly tries to entertain him. I am worried about this because once she goes home I can't give Tyler that attention. He was great at his indepedent playing and even the 2 Days I was here with just me and the boys he just happily played while I bfed. It's been a couple of days and already he now demands my attention while bfing. I have spoken to B and asked him to speak to her. I appreciate where she is coming from but it's a habit I can't let Tyler take a hold of.

We had a bit of a hitch with BFing, I was feeding little man thursday night I think it was when I was burping him he spat up some bright red blood. At first I freaked out a bit seeing blood like that come out of ur newborn is scary! But I realized it was actually from me! My right nipple has lost a little bit of itself lol. I have had to wear a shield for 2 days to let it repair but he attached this morning it wasn't too bad. Still has some healing to do but it's getting better. I just need to be more vigilant about letting it air dry after a feed and then applying lanasoil (sp?) cream.

I thought we were going to have issues with him spewing but we seem to be over it. He spits up a little bit but nothing like the spewing that he was doing.

Not much else happening just plodding along enjoying my little family of 4!

I can't believe how fast time is flying and how much Blake had grown in only a week! Before i know it he will be 1!

He is here

The little man is here.
Blake Matthew
Born 7/12/12 3:46pm
8lb 51cm long 34cm head cm

The day started out well. Got to the hospital at 7am. Dr checked me about 7:30 and i was 3cm dilated so no need for gels and he broke my water straight up. I started getting contractions almost straight away but they weren't increasing so we decided to go with the drip.

Around 11am the contractions really amped up and I asked for the epidural. Finally around 12:15 it was put in. The contractions slowed down for a bit but the midwife was able to increase the drip. It was then we started noticing after every contraction bubs heart rate would drop. The nurse suspected the cord to be around his neck. This dropping HR got worse the stronger the contractions got. At around 3pm they were getting worried and were considering an emergency csection but the dr checked and I was fully dilated and ready to push.

I figured i was as I had break trough pain and i just felt different within myself. I guess I actually felt myself go through transition.

Started pushing at 3pm and he was progressing down the birth canal well but by 3:30 bubs heart rate started plummeting so the dr decided we needed to get him out now!

He used a vacuum and within a couple of pushes he was out. The cord was indeed around his neck and he was very stunned after he came out. He really scared me as he wasn't completely breathing, was very blue in the head, and really stunned. As soon as the cord was cut the nurse took him to the birth cart and he started crying. I was so relieved.

I seriously want my money back for the epidural. I felt absolutely everything. Ok it dulled down the contraction pain for sure. But i felt all of Blake come out. A pain I had absolutely no desire to feel and one of the main reasons why I had epidural.
As Blake had the cord around his neck once his head came 1/2 out I couldn't push :( that's a pain I will never forget. Was the same when I had to start pushing the shoulders. I had to pant instead of push like I really f'ing wanted to. It's a pain I won't forget any time soon that's for sure. I have no idea why on earth women willingly want to feel that. Ouchies!

He is doing well now though. He feed in the birthing suite at around 4:30pm. But by midnight he hadn't fed again. I kept offering him the boob but he wasn't interested :( midwife said his blood sugar may have just dropped too low and he was too tired to suck. So we hand expressed some colostrum and poured it into his mouth. Well he definitely got some energy as he cluster fed every hour after that. I finally got some sleep around 5am for about an hour when the blood lady woke me up.

He is so perfect though.

prelabour

So 39weeks tomorrow and I have already started having prelabour stuff. I know this means nothing women can have a whole week of this teasing and nothing!

Today is thursday so starting Tuesday afternoon omg my hormones went into over drive: all I wanted to do was crawl out of my own skin. I was so angry at everything. I honestly just wanted to punch the living daylights out of someone and for absolutely no reason. Poor B copped it. Once I realised what I was doing I just sat quietly and tried to not pop from sheer rage.

This continued through yesterday. One of the mums in my 2011sept mums group mentioned this is normal as it's the surge of hormones u get the week or so leading up to labour. Sure enough I went back through my blog and 4days before i had Tyler I posted Grouchy Grouchy Grouchy and my feelings were pretty much identical.

This brings me to today. I woke up feeling a bit off. Tyler had his last swimming lesson so off we went to that. I started feeling really crampy in the tummy and back on the way there. It started to intensify and he felt like he was trying to push out the wrong hole while there. It was going in waves but I just assumed I needed to go to the bathroom and had an upset tummy. I got home and tried to empty my bowel but couldn't. :(

These waves of pain continued for around 4 hours or so but have now eased off :( i still have period type cramps and lower back aches but it seems it is staying put for now.

In saying that though sitting here now i am feeling some intense pains again. Please let him come sooner rather than later a week of this prelabour stuff especially with a 14month old always wanting attention will do my head in!

Belly shot comparison

Doesn't appear I have expanded at all, perhaps maybe even shrunk? Definitely doesn't look like he has dropped! Poo!

38+2

12 days to go!

Pretty boring and uneventful here. Simply just waiting for bubba boy to arrive. Everything is ready to go.

Extremely tired and just generally off but B had been stepping in and taking up the slack with Tyler which has really been helping and it's also giving him more confidence to be able to take care of him while I am in hospital.

The house is a bit messy, I am trying to keep on top of it but it's just not happening. A 14month old cyclone is hard to keep up with!

My sister and her little man arrive Tuesday week. Really looking forward to that. Be nice for the boys to spend some time together and also means she will be here to take Tyler when I am in labour. One big stress off my mind!

Bump wise it hasn't gotten any bigger at all. Bubs has certainly dropped. I had a really intense sharp pain this morning I really thought my waters were about to break :( they didn't!

Hopefully my next entry will be introducing bub. Lol some how I doubt it!

37+1

Full term!!! Yay!

Things haven't really improved much in terms of well being. I'm still really exhausted, headaches are really bad. Muscles are just aching all over, sciatica is playing up etc. Insomnia is in full swing, I think I am lucky if I get 2 hours solid sleep a night. A new thing is extreme heart burn. It was easing off and I had only needed to take 1x150mg once a day. The last
2 days I'm in extreme pain. It never goes away even after a tablet. It was never this bad with Tyler. I have started taking my morning one in hope it helps.

Maybe bub is going through a growth spurt? I really didn't think there was much more for him to grow. He has been super super active of late but is really quiet today only the odd movement here and there so a growth spurt seems likely.

His hiccups are driving me bonkers. He has then 4 maybe 5 times a day. I know it's really good for lung development but because he is so big they can actually get painful, especially when he gets annoyed in the end and gives me a mighty kick.

Only 20days to go and honestly if I am going to feel like this the whole time it's going to be a very long 20days. I have started the iron tablets again so hopefully that helps but it's too the point where if I don't sit down i know I will fall down.

Started packing my hospital bag today. Lol better later than never. I very much doubt the little man will arrive early but seeing as B certainly wouldn't be able to pack a bag for me I thought i should get it done. Best part has been packing the clothes for bub. :)

My body has decided to suck in a heap of fluid of late. I have notice my feet and legs are slightly puffy and my face certainly is. I have put on 2kg in the last week!!! I know it will come off in the couple of weeks after bub is born but still seeing those numbers jump up so much is never enjoyable! Even though dr A said it's unlikely for my BP to jump now the fluid retention and increase in weight is something to keep in mind and i am going to monitor my BP just to make sure the hypertension isn't becoming an issue.

On the Tyler front he has been really good lately. It still amazes me how much they change in such a small period of time.

Well enough procrastinating I really should get back to the house work and finish packing this bag. Damn heat today is making it very hard!! Please let it storm or at least rain.

Bad day!

Having one of those absolute shockers today. I am so tired its not funny I just want to lay down on the floor and cry myself to sleep I am so tired. :( doesn't help that Tyler decided to only have a 15min nap today which was in the car on the way back from mums so I haven't even been able go have a nap.

Turned 30 yesterday. Had a lovely morning at the beach with the family and then a relaxing afternoon before heading out to dinner. Was a wonderful day but it's probably the reason I'm so exhausted today.

22 days is far too long right now. In this completely exhausted frame of mind I don't see this baby ever coming.

Ok that's all I got going to sit here staring into space while Tyler plays with his toys. :( yep such a bad mummy!

36weeks

4weeks/29 days to go!

That really isn't very long at all but wow it seems to be dragging!

Lots of bubs are being born at the moment all early! Give me this hope that maybe bubba boy might come early but I doubt it! No more than 2 weeks early but 2 weeks would be nice.

Not much happening, still have headaches, all the pains aren't too bad, they have certainly eased off. I'm starting to think bub has dropped. Or has started to at least. Maybe going up and down? Certainly feels like there is more room to breath but strangely I can't really eat anything at all. I eat about 1/4 of what I normally do and I feel full. Eat any more and I feel ill.

Started the epi-no 2 days ago. Oh what fun that is lol. I have no idea how anyone gives birth without using one of these first!! Up to 8cm already which I figured would be the case 2nd time round. At least it hopefully means no tearing again this time. Certainly made recovery so much easier.

Well my brain is fried mush and I can't think so I am going to leave it there for today!

Belly comparison. Not much difference really!!

35+3

So today I am going to post about something different :)

So since B and I moved back in together 4 months ago things are finally started to look up.

At first it was really hard and challenging but in the last couple of months things have really started to change. The change in B is incredible and I really don't know where it's come from. He is really loving, caring and attentive to me. He is working so hard at his business and helping heaps around the house, spending lots of quality time with Tyler. He hasn't touched the drugs or done any gambling. He is really trying so hard to be the husband and dad this family needs.

It's really nice to have our family happy! I don't know if it's because we rarely see my family and it is just us. No outside interferences and negativity. What ever it is it's so nice to have my husband back. I guess he just got a bit lost for a while there but he is back and it's wonderful. We still have things to work on but the change is so incredible. :) he is now the man I thought I married. :)

I have been thinking more and more lately that I am content with my family. That I am done. I can't wait for this little guy to join our family and I really do think that is me done. I picture my family doing things a the boys grow up and I just see the 4 of us. I don't get that urge and longing for a girl that I used to. I don't know maybe this will change in time but for now I am happy :) and wow it feels nice. Its been a very long time since I have felt happy and contented with life :)

35weeks

35days to go!
Warning this post is a really vent as I need to get it out somewhere so if ur not up for listening to a full b*t*h and whinge close the screen now!

So where do I start?
Firstly I am so sick of being sick and tired. The headaches are becoming too much, the nausea and exhaustion are simply pushing me over the edge!

I had so much to do today but I had to sleep when Tyler was down. Unfortunately I didn't really sleep and don't feel any better! :(

My neck and back are so sore :( I'm super uncomfortable and just over it.

Add to this Tyler is cutting his incisors and molars and u have a very grumpy, whingy, screaming, non eating and non sleeping child! Agh! He is super naughty at the moment and when he gets told no or naughty he keeps pushing like it's a game. When I go and pull him away from the naughty thing he is doing he completely cracks it and screams the house down. Seriously child wtf? My head can't handle that decibel of screams right now. This goes on all day at the moment. At the shops he lasts about 10mins before he cracks it there too. I'm not sure if he can sense something is happening or that things are about to change or what but wow I wasn't expecting these tantrums until at least 2!

I have no one to help me out or just give me a break. B is working heaps which is great but it also means he is gone 7-7 most days. My mum isn't interested in spending more than an hour with him. She has her own more important life to attend too. I'm not even going to get started on that because I won't be able go stop.

B and I spoke briefly about the plan while I am on hospital. No one spends any time with Tyler or even knows how to look after him. No idea on routines or food or anything. With only 5 weeks to go I seriously can't be bothered forcing people to give a sH*t when clearly they aren't interested but it does stress me out as I will be in hospital with a new born and worried sick about Tyler.

I am so over carrying this extra weight! I just want to be able to change my diet and start exercising.

As I was driving home today I was thinking about things and I realised I am done. At this point in time I am happy with my 2 boys. I don't want any more kids. This may change is 4-5years but right now I am done. I want to get out there and start enjoying life with my boys.
I want to get this weight off, get fit again and get out there. I know it's because I am heavily pregnant but Most of the time I can't muster the energy to do anything at all let alone take Tyler to the park or the beach or the pool or anything :( I do realise this feeling won't last forever but I do feel like such a bad mum!

I found out a couple of weeks ago not sure if I mentioned it already but they do little nippers about 20mins from me. So excited as I have always wanted to get the kids into it.

On a different note had an appointment with the OB yesterday everything is great. Keeping the appointment fortnightly as it's all routine. Just twiddle our thumbs until bubba boy decides it's time to come!!

Well I need to muster the energy to do something! House looks like a bomb hit it.

34+1

Hmmm so shouldn't have done that!

So I'm feeling very sick again. Bad headaches, extremely tired and exhausted. I'm getting very little sleep at night. Anyway i thought I would go back through my blog and read the last few weeks of pregnancy with Tyler.

I knew I got sick with him but I didn't realise how sick. Lots of throwing up and sleeping. Can't do the day sleeping this time around!

I am lucky in that Tyler has dropped to 1 nap a day and it's normally 3-4hours. So I have been Trying to sleep during this time. Unfortunately i just can't get to sleep. I am taking the opportunity to relax though.

So turns out I did have all these pains first time round. Seriously don't remember getting them but i guess that's why i kept a record of it.

Those last few weeks definitely sounded horrible though. :( hardest part is having a toddler to run around after u just can't stop.

B is flat out at work too so can't help out at all. Leaves by 7am and isn't home till 6pm. After a very physical day he is usually exhausted but Tyler is normally in bed by 7 anyway.

I actually feel so bad for Tyler. I am trying to play with him but i really struggle, I'm uncomfortable, and in pain, feel sick etc and because ben has such long days at work and normally works all day sat and a few hours on sunday Tyler doesn't get fun daddy play time either :(

Less than 6 weeks though. Although i kept reading though the blog to the first month after Tyler was born. Wow having a new born is hard work. Lol I remember it being demanding and getting little to no sleep etc. But again just having the 1 it wasn't too bad. U cope etc. Having 2 is a completely different ball game. Hopefully number 2 is a bit more of a relaxed baby. We will see I guess. No reflux would be nice! At least now I know how to handle it. Well silent reflux i do. Projectile vomiting reflux is different all together!

Finally contacted the hand and feet impressions lady. She is on holidays over christmas but is taking impressions once a week even Christmas week so that's fantastic :) I would like it to be as close to the 17days that we got Tyler done at so once bub is born I can ring her and book one of those day which will be the closest. :)

So my sisters wedding is finally decided on. 3rd august! That doesn't give me long to get the baby weight off and I want it GONE! I have only put on 10kg this pregnancy and I am currently 15kg less than the day i went into labour with Tyler so if i can keep it here it's a fantastic start. Also means that once the initial fluid and baby weight comes off (usually around 5kg) in those first few days I should only have 20-25kg to lose. I have a goal in mind but I think it's perhaps a little unrealistic especially seeing as i will have a toddler and new born and finding time exercise will be extremely hard. So if I lose 20kg thats awesome if I lose 25kg I will be ecstatic! That is a lot in 8 months but I am going to try my absolute hardest!

Enough rambling for 1 day.

33+3

Wow had to really think about how far along I was then.

So much has been happening but at the same time absolutely nothing has.

Let me explain. So we are rolling onto 2 weeks of being stick at home due to Tyler being sick. That's the nothing is happening all boring!

Other side is Tyler had been very sick :( so it started with green snot and a few days later a cough. Just a dry one and not excessive or anything so I wasn't too concerned. A few days later conjunctivitis as he couldn't help rub the green snot in his eyes. Got some drops from the chemist again no point seeing a dr.

So my last post I mentioned about Tyler's day of sleeping well the next day he woke up with a slight temp. I didn't check it to me it felt about 37.5ish. He slept most of the day but about an hour after he woke up in the afternoon I could feel he was burning up. Took his temp this time as I knew it was high - yep 39.5! Omg freak out. I have never had a fever myself, this is his first and I had no idea what I should do.

I rang 13health the lady was fantastic! She said it's not the degree of fever that's the problem it's how the child is with the fever. Other than him being upset and grumpy due to being sick he seemed medically ok. She advised I get a gp to do a house call as he had been sick for so long. I found out my local medical centre is open until 10pm every night so we took him down there.
By this time the neurophen had kicked in and his temp had dropped to 37.5. The dr was a complete dick though. Completely dismissed me as a neurotic mother. I hadn't taken him to the dr in the 2 weeks he had been sick as I was hoping he would get through it on his own. I went on the advice of a health nurse and still he was an arse!

Anyway he prescribed antibiotics and sent us on our way!

Tyler managed to sleep through the night but the next day was a shocker. His temp stayed around 38-38.5 and spiked for about an hour after his naps to about 39.5+. the worst was 40.5 after his afternoon sleep. This of course caused him to start vomiting. I really didn't know what to do at this point he was so sick and inconsolable and just burning up. The health nurse said no washers or fans or cool baths as that just increases the temp so all I could do was cuddle him and try and get him to drink some water. Eventually his temp dropped to around 38.5 and I was able to get him back down to bed for the night.

He woke up ok this morning but again after his morning nap his temp was 39.5. His body was shaking, not chills shake but weak muscle kind of thing. He didn't have the energy to stand or even sit. He was burning up and again I didn't know what to do. I gave him panadol and rocked him back to sleep. He slept until lunch and woke up with no temp!!!!!

He is back down for a nap now so I am hoping we are through to the other side. It's after the naps which are the biggest concern. If he wakes up again with no fever I think it might have broken. Fingers crossed.

It's a horrible feeling though when ur child is so sick and u want to ask for advice or help from medical professionals but I are too scared because they are rude and treat u like complete fools.

I know it was just some kind of infection that his body was fighting that gave him the fever. It was his body fighting it off. I know there isn't much they could have done but on that off chance that it might actually be something serious u want a dr to look at them and tell u it will be ok and understand why u took them in. Not dismiss u because when it is serious u become to scared to get them seen too.

Anyway just rambling now. Very tired it's been a long few days. Just hoping he starts to get better. I really do hate seeing him so sick :(

On the pregnancy front not much happening at all. Lots of strong healthy kicks. BP still low. Bump about the same. Started taking raspberry leaf the other day. Only 1 a day will increase it at 34weeks. PSP still really painful. Sciatica has eased off. Weight gain yuk let's not go there. Starting to get some VJJ pain and back end pain so bubs weight is starting to shift down but with still just over 6 weeks to go I suspect this pain will certainly intensify!

Looking forward to meeting the little guy. The next 6 weeks can fly :)

33 weeks

49 days to go!! Yay less than 50 days!

Starting to feel that very heavily pregnant feeling. Must be the position he is in. Back to not being able to bend down, really struggling to pick Tyler up. My big belly is in the way when trying to give him a bottle etc. Getting down onto the floor to play with him or dry him after a bath etc is a mammoth task!

I was meant to take a photo today but forgot. I over did it yesterday making the house spotless and today my pubic symphysis pain was excruciating. I spent most of the day chilling on the couch.

Tyler is still sick but after putting the portable air conditioner in his room today he had a 3.5hour nap so plus the 1.5 he had already he slept for 5 hours! He was still tired tonight so he went to bed at normal time. Hopefully all of this helps him start to get better. He was never going to get better while he wasn't sleeping properly.

Talking of sleep I'm exhausted! Bed time.

32+5

Just got back from my OB appointment and everything is great. Bub is measuring about 2kg and 32+6 so spot on for size.
My BP was perfect :)
Booked in for my next AntiD and went over to the hospital to pay the excess on my health insurance.
My appointments are now fortnightly for 34&36 and then weekly from there.

Bubs is definitely head down now :) he has been for a few weeks so should now stay there!

All routine and normal :) yay

7 weeks to go!

32+4

Another week ticks on over :) slowly getting closer.

I have been feeling good the last week, still have slight headaches but no migraine. The aches and pains are setting in but that could be me over doing it!

I am almost done ticking off my list! Cleaned and vacuumed the car the other day, this morning I completely sorted the office. Now i just have to arrange the baby bouncer and bassinet and things as they were stored in the spare room. That's the major things done just little things now like put the car seat in, set up 2nd pram seat, few things still messy around the house like a couple of boxes etc but they won't take long to finish off. I finally do feel like I am getting somewhere and I might actually be ready when he gets here.

Tyler had been so sick :( he has a horrible cold. I thought he had a lot of green snot at the beginning of the week. Well it some how got worse! I went out and grabbed a vaporizer yesterday, not sure it's helping yet. It's the wrong time of year to be using it though, as they boil the water to turn it to steam it actually heats the room up. I ended up having to turn it off last night as he was just too hot. Still had the nice smells though so hopefully it did something. His cough is pretty bad too :( poor bugger.

I have my 32w OB appointment tomorrow. Will be good to see bubba boy again. See how he is doing growth wise. I did some belly shots the other day (see pic below) the top ones I took at 32+1 for bubba 2 and the bottom left is Tyler at 31+2 and bottom right is Tyler at 33w. Firstly OMG how much did Tyler grow in those 2 weeks. Such a massive change. 2nd I think I am between those 2 pics so I would say bubba boy is about the same size Tyler was :)

I received an absolutely gorgeous gift in the post yesterday. Big brother/little brother shirts. They are absolutely adorable and the boys are going to look fantastic in those! Thank u so much cookie :) it's been so wonderful to share not only my journey with u but for me to be able to be there during urs. I am so excited about the imminent arrival of ur little man. So excited for u and ur DH!

Well the sick little man is awake better go give him lots of mummy cuddles!

31+4

Oh so tired! Lol this little peanut is taking it out of me that's for sure. Well that and the over boisterous 1 year old!

I have started getting really uncomfortable. I don't remember ever being thins uncomfortable with Tyler. 8 weeks is still a very long time to go especially being this uncomfortable. I remember with tyler I shaved my legs at 40weeks! I am already struggling to do that. Trying to keep on top of the house work is a mammoth effort, I can't bend over to pick stuff up off the floor and when Tyler is being the wonderful little helper he is, he goes and empties the contents of my plastic cupboard all over the floor! :(

His favorite game is chasie (sp?) me crawling around the floor him trying to run away from me. Little bugger has picked up some speed with his walking and almost runs but with a big belly it's hard work chasing after him. Over did it the other night and it took a few hours for all the pains to go away.

I have almost ticked everything off my list. Well I think I have until I put some thought into it!

Still to do
- clean out and wash car
- install car capsule
- move Tyler into big boy room (he just hasn't been ready yet but I think he finally is. Doesn't want his cuddles in his rocking chair before naps anymore :( )
- set up 2nd pram seat
- organise spare room ready for B's mum
- put up Christmas tree (mid nov)
- contact hand and feet lady
- buy a new bassinet. I wasn't going to until I saw one on my local garage sale site and it was awesome. It was fully enclosed zipped mesh. We get lots of sand flies here living near the beach and islands and with DS loving to be outside all the time and it being so hot inside having bub in that under the shade of a tree would be awesome. It
Was only $35 but I missed it by 10mins :( I have been trying to find a cheap one else where but can't. They rrp for $130 which isn't too bad but if I could get one cheap that would be better. Just using mesh over my current one would be pointless sandflies find the smallest little gaps.

I think that's about it though. I sterilized all my bottles and breast pump and nipple shields etc. Organised the kitchen with the sterilizer on the bench etc. Sorted all the baby clothes and blankets. The nursery is ready for bub even though he won't be in there for 3 months. Our room is set up with bassinet etc. Not made up yet though won't do that for a while. I have brought everything I need other than medications for bub. I have been needing to get to the chemist warehouse for my Zantac but still haven't managed to hopefully today as I am nearly out and I will get the stuff then.
Sorted the baby medicine out from our stuff and organised them into containers well out of Tyler's reach.

have my 32week OB appointment next Wednesday and have to go to the hospital and pay my excess and things. Can't forget to do that. I think we will be down to fortnightly appointments then so next one will be at 34weeks and I will need my final antiD shot then too. At 35/36 weeks I will begin to use the epi-no and also start increasing the fish oil, start taking evening primrose oil and raspberry lead tablets. Might try the tea this time too. None of it worked last time but I did go into labour at 40+1 so if it was all that stuff that helped him come on time I will try it again. I really don't want to go a week over. Not only is that just an uncomfortable week I don't want him coming too close to Christmas.

When I start thinking like that wow we are getting close!!!

3D/4D scan

30+4 and we had the 3D scan today. It was wonderful seeing bubba boy again. Seeing him makes me realise we are getting closer as he is looking so close to being ready.

He has chubbier cheeks than Tyler, his nose is rounder, still dads nose though lol. Seems to have big eyes like Tyler and he has lots of hair! So it seems he will be dark haired like Tyler.

He has Massive hands lol. I had seen them in a scan at my OB's office and though holly Molly that kid has big hands. Yep seeing them today he certainly does. No surprise though Tyler had and still has massive hands and feet. I remember when my sister came to visit and her son was 10weeks and Tyler's hands and feet casts at 17days old were older than Nate's at 10weeks lol.

He is now head down. I thought he was as his kicks had changed. My cervix is no longer getting a battering.

Was so funny though Tyler decided to have a bit of a tantrum while we were in there. Every time he cried out in anger as children do bubba boy smiled. Kinda looked like he was laughing I guess. So cute!

Photos are a little blurry they are pictures taken from photos as I have no Internet here at home to upload them straight from the disc.

30+3

:( the sickness that hit with Tyler at 30weeks has well and truly hit again.

This is day 3 of a severe migraine and with that comes constant nausea, light sensitivity, motion sickness and of course vomiting :( I have been taking pain killers mainly 2 panadol in the morning 2 panadine before bed but I really really hate taking them. I tired heat pack but they did nothing. :(

Unfortunately unlike last pregnancy this one i can't just hide away in bed like I want to :(

I am hoping it's worse at the moment due to the surge in hormones at 30weeks and it settles down a bit when my body adjusts. Fingers crossed anyway.

I can certainly feel those Hormones making the changes in preparation for bubs arrival. My nipples burn every now and again and I know the feeling as a leak/let down feeling so I am thinking they will probably start leaking sooner or later. Grabbed some breast pads at the shop yesterday just in case.

My hips and lower back have really started loosening. No PSD pain yet but bub has only just turned around no down ward pressure yet. I think Tyler dropped around 35weeks but I think with ur 2nd it's later and a lot closer to when u go into labour? Who knows. Just glad he has turned around hopefully he stays this way. I was breach until my mum went into labour so I am hoping being my 2nd bub that it doesn't do that to me. I would prefer a VB.

Turns out my 3D scans are tomorrow!! Yay so exciting can't wait to see what he looks like :)

9w6d to go!

Omg yay single digit week count down. Bubba boy will be here in no time!!!!

So excited

Lol see stupid hormones all seems so close again today!

30weeks

We made it - the final 10weeks.

Yesterday i felt great, i was so excited thinking wow only 10weeks to go not long at all.

Today I feel like crap and 10weeks seems like forever! :( I have had headaches for a couple of weeks now, tried the chiropractor but it I'd nothing. Today I have woken up sick. I just want to vomit. So nauseous. :( I know I got sick at 30weeks with Tyler but wow bang on 30weeks? :(

The headache is a shocker already today though. I am taking panadol and occasional panadine when it's really bad but I really do hate taking all these drugs. :( i would try a nap while Tyler is down but I know I won't sleep it's only 8:30am I have only been up since 6! Trying to sleep but not sleeping will probably just make it worse.

Mind u Tyler was so sleepy even lying down on the floor sleepy. Put him in the cot and nope mummy wide awake. He isn't whinging just moving about and playing with his toys so hopefully he will eventually have a nap. Will Go in in a little bit to make sure he hasn't done a poo, sometimes its why he won't go down to sleep.

I have noticed the pressure on my aorta is increasing already. I think this is what it is or at least it's what it feels like. I get an odd sensation of tightness in my chest/upper stomach. I then get a wave of strange feeling wash over me and then I get light headed then a real pressure builds in my head, I can feel the pulse in my ears like my blood pressure has sky rocketed and my ears and head are going to burst. I remember getting it with Tyler too and everything was fine. Just think sometimes they rest on the wrong bit. Must check my BP though haven't checked in over a week.

I'm going to have to try and alter Tyler's diet i think. He has been off his food because he was sick but he just doesn't seem interested in any food at all. Dry reaches at anything I put in his mouth. Not sure if he is still sick or now sick with something else but he is having 5 bottles a day again and only slightly picking at food. It's not that he is fussy he isn't even touching the stuff he normally loves. Hopefully it passes.

Going to try and move him into his big boy room today. Not sure what else I want to tick off the list. Not spewing is about all I have right now.

Down to single digit count down tomorrow. Bring on December!

Belly pic

30weeks Tyler vs 29+5 bub2. I still think I am sitting so much higher!

Sickness

It really annoys me when people take their sick kids out and it makes others sick. Tyler doesn't have that much physical contact with other kids other than my friends kids and mummies groups.

He had his 12month needles last Wednesday and on Friday I noticed he was off and had a slight temp. By Sunday this had escalated he was off all solid food and by about 2pm his fever was getting really bad. I monitored him over night and gave him panadol. I simply figured it was from his needles.

He had a very restless night waking frequently and crying but managed to get himself back to sleep quickly. I knew he had a fever but I didn't want to go in and wake him up if he was still mostly asleep as this just makes him very disorientated and he gets really upset. I usually give him 5 mins if he doesn't resettle I go in and settle him.

Anyway in the morning as he was off his solids I was giving him a bottle and noticed a light rash. Started on his hands and feet but by 7am it was from head to toe. I know rashes can be bad but I also know when it's viral they can't do much about it so I did some googling and it seemed to be either hand foot and mouth or possibly mild measles from the MMR vaccine.

Being pregnant i decided to take him to the dr. She said she thought it was hand foot and mouth and to give panadol and neurofen and keep up fluids. No problems with me being pregnant.

I really wasn't sure that's what he had as his rash really was bad all over and not blistery. He got worse that day though, refusing to sleep even on me, he fever was bad and it was so hot due to the building storm. We did our normal bed routine and he slept for about 20mins but woke up crying and nothing I did could settle him :( we decided to bring him into our bed but he simply wouldn't stop crying. It was a really distressed cry too so heart breaking. I was so close to taking him to hospital as I honestly didn't know what else to do. Neither panaol or neuofen was helping :( finally at 10pm he crawled to the edge of the bed and passed out. Unfortunately he wasn't sleeping as he was thrashing around the bed and I wondered if it was because it wasn't he normal bed and we were there moving and waking him up. So at midnight I gave him some more panadol, a bottle and popped him into his cot. He went down straight away but woke crying every 20mins but again put himself back to sleep quickly. At 2:30am he finally fell into a deeper sleep and didn't stir till 5:30am and even I managed a couple of hours sleep.

I noticed in the morning that the rash on his head and body were now smaller white raised dots some still red but tiny but the ones on his hands and feet were big and red and blistery. Very nasty looking. He was also having trouble swallowing and the saliva was just pouring out of his mouth so it was likely he had this nasty blistery ones in his mouth. Yep hand foot and mouth. Where in the hell did he get it from?

His fever had finally broken and Yesterday he managed 2 hour then 3 hour nap and last night he slept through without stirring once. This morning he ate some breakfast. It was hard for him he was still struggling to swallow but he was trying so it seems he is on the mend.

So unfortunately this means we are under house arrest until the spots clear up, which is fine as I don't want to make any other babies sick, perhaps if someone else had done the same Tyler wouldn't have gotten sick :(

This also meant I couldn't make CJ's farewell on Monday :( this was very sad for me but I needed to looks after my sick little man. I have seen the pics though and it looked beautiful. I was hoping to release some balloons from here at home but as Tyler hadn't stopped crying all day I never got a chance and now I can't get out of the house to get any :( A knows I would have been there if I could. She seems ok but she has a very long road ahead of her :(

Bubba boy seems all good. Nothing to report there really. Have my 3D/4D scan next wednesday. Will be 30+5 exactly the same as what i was with Tyler. Wonder what he will look like!
Can't believe i will be 30weeks on Friday. Home stretch! Should start getting my butt into gear. I am not even remotely ready for this bub.

Life can be utterly horrible and devastating

Yesterday was a very emotional and draining day.
I may have mentioned about 3weeks ago that one of the bubs in our September 2011 group was sick. He had been diagnosed with a fatal lung condition. Well 4pm on Thursday he passed away. His mum and dad had been told he will eventually but there had been hope with medication and things. He had been home for the week. Sadly on Thursday he couldn't keep fighting :( It just feels so quick and sudden and just horrible.

His mum said they were out in the car and he just wouldn't settle. Her DH had to stop at the mechanic so she took him out of this car seat and held him and settled him down. Her DH got back to the car and the 3 of them were sitting there as her little guys breaths just slowed down and stopped. :( they rushed him to the hospital which was 2 mins away but she felt in her heart resuscitating him was the wrong thing to do and they asked them to stop :( My god how do u make that decision? Nothing in the world could be harder.

I simply just can't stop the tears. It breaks my heart over and over again thinking about the pain and grief this family is going through.

I held Tyler so close yesterday. This little man had been in the world only as long as Tyler I couldn't bear to imagine life without him.

A said she is really struggling with knowing what to do. Her whole life has been CJ for the past 12months. What is she meant to do if she isn't a mummy anymore :(

God it's just gut wrenching. :(

The funeral is on Monday but we have decided not to go. As we are her mums group and all have kids CJ's age we thought the memories would be too much so we have all decided to go to a beach down the gold coast and write some messages in the sand, let some balloons go and also perhaps sends some messages out into the ocean. We will take some photos and put them into a memory book for A so that one day perhaps when she is strong enough she can look at it and know we were sending our prayers and love.

It brings home how precious life is and how important it is to cherish it and love the important people in ur life and to show them that love everyday.

A took CJ to hospital 3 weeks ago with croup and now he is gone.

28+5

Had my OBGYN appointment this arvo. No gestational diabetes which is awesome. My iron levels came back low so I have had to go onto a supplement but that's fine. Explains the exhaustion and hopefully I will have some energy back soon.

He said bub was measuring a little big but going back and having a look at the scans when i got home bub is spot on for my due date calc. The dr is still going off the edd 11/12/12 which was from the first scan at 6 weeks where the scan tech was having trouble getting a good pic of bub. All the other scans including one at 9 weeks put the edd at the 5/6th. So this is why I simply go off my lmp date and say due the 7th. These dates are probably right as with Tyler I was charting. I ovulate on cd13 so with him my lmp due date was the 12/09/11 but ovulation put it at 11/09/11. So he was born the 12/09/12 so bang on my lmp due date. So if we go by lmp date hopefully bubba will be born on the 7th.

He is still sitting in breech which is fine he has plenty of time to turn around. He said that's more than likely what is causing my pain as his head is right up in my ribs.

So pretty good all round. Had my antiD shot, get my next one at 34weeks.

Spoke to the dr about the hospital stay. He said for 2nd baby I can go home when ever I am ready and if he agrees I am ok and if the paed says bub is ok to leave too :) this is great news I thought i would have to stay the whole 4 days.

Tyler had his 12month needles today too. He did really well he had a little cry but mainly just glared at the nurses lol. Was not happy with them at all!
He weighed in at 11.48kg :) that was the 80th %. He is in the 90th % for his height so all healthy!

Not much else to report really. Tyler starts his new swimming lesson tomorrow. My mum has said he wants to take him for the next level up which I was happy about. Being nearly 29weeks it's already getting hard to get in and out of the pool and these lesson will take Tyler up to the end of November and to full term so I couldn't imagine trying to get in and out then.

Be good for him to do the next level too he was getting comfortable and confident in the other one so it was definitely time to take him up.

Stuff to do before bed should get moving! :)

All the festivities are done and dusted. For now :)

So Tyler's first birthday lasted a whole week but finally it's over lol. I was so exhausted yesterday afternoon.

It was a great day at his birthday BBQ yesterday he was a bit tired and grumpy but it was nice to have soany people come and help us celebrate.

He got lots of great presents which was so nice of everyone.

Now things can settle down for a bit. I still have to cleaning up an resorting to do but there is no rush on that.

I need to move Tyler into his new room but need to get curtains first the crap blinds in the place block no light out.

I am going to try and get him into daycare 1 day a week for a few hours. Will be good for him to play with other bubba's while I am not there. I am really struggling to actually take that step and and do it lol. I know he needs it and it will be good for him but I haven't been away from him for more than a few hours in over a year! I will get there.

Have his needles on Wednesday then I have to go up to the hospital for my anti-d and then off to DrA :) looking forward to getting my recent results back and doing some measurements just to make sure all is ok. :)

Looking forward to getting to 30weeks an being on the count down home.

Tyler is a full time walker now :) only crawls when playing chasie around the house with B. Walking is far too slow for that game. Lol

My big 30 is the next big thing in our little family but I am bypassing it this year. Might just go out for lunch or something. Won't be dinner because at 37weeks I will want to be in bed as soon as Tyler is and don't want to push that back any later lol.

After that its bus arrival! I have to start putting final preparations in place now.

-Clean car inside and out
-Install baby capsule
-Transfer Tyler's clothes over to his room
-Put bubs clothes into nursery
-Fix and rehang musical mobiles (Tyler broke them all)
-Bring out of storage and clean bassinet, swings and bouncers
-sterilize breast pump and new born bottles
- restock medicine cabinet with infacol, infants friend, new baby panadol etc
-sterilise nipple shields
- pack hospital bag
- wash wraps and blankets (being December probably won't need blankets but just in case)
- finish setting up and make spare
Bed for when B's mum arrives
-bring out baby bath thing and baby towels
- set up 2nd seat for pram ready to be installed
-restock baby wipes, new born nappies, disposable change table mats
- install curtain rod in nursery and hang curtains properly
- get out and wash all burp/spew cloths
-install curtains in main bedroom. Lol I will start using the epi-no at around 36weeks and our bedroom faces the road and although I doubt u could see in with the blinds closed I am NOT taking any chances!
-buy new fridge/freezer
- make and freeze bulk lots of food
- buy grill cooker (lost my last one somewhere along the way)
- pick up blender from mums house
- contact hands and feet lady regarding bub's impressions. Will fall right on christmas eve. Fingers crossed she isn't on holidays.
- set up christmas tree and decorations (mid nov)
-

Having only just over 11weeks to go I am also going to start putting our new diet in place. This involves preparing a heap of food for when bub arrives and freezing it. Mainly food for Tyler and B. For me I want to start eating more grilled meat and salads and veggies. My sister is looking to get married in Aug/sept next year so I need to make sure I have all my baby weight off.

I think that's about it lol.

Happy birthday

1 year ago today our little man Tyler decided to join us :) it's been a very full on eventful, and wonderful year. Still can't believe it's been a year.

We had a fantastic day celebrating. Tyler had lots of new toys to play with and had a ball.

I have to say I am totally and utterly exhausted :( not sure if I am getting sick or just that with everything going on bubba boy is also having a gigantic growth spurt! My tummy is killing me at the moment feels like it is stretched to the max and he is just going to burst out. Hopefully after Tyler's bday BBQ on the weekend things will quieten down and I can sit down and take it easy for a bit.

Tyler's bed turned out awesome too :) he loves it.

This is also a belly pic from 27weeks I feel even bigger now. Will definitely be interesting to get his size measurements next wednesday at the obgyn.

Have my GTT tomorrow fingers crossed all is ok.

Have started taking my BP as this is when it started rising with Tyler but it's still sitting on 120/60

Oh and apparently now that Tyler is a walking toddler he can do as he pleases as u can see by the climbing lol!

27+2 - 3rd trimester!!!!

Well we are on the home stretch now! Less than 13weeks to go and we are into the 3rd trimester. The put on fat stage - for bubba that is lol. Although probably me too as I can tell he is going through a growth spurt as I am Starving.

Right now though I'm tired so it's off to bed! This getting up 50million times a night to pee is driving me bonkers. I'm sure it was never this bad with Tyler! Oh well not long to go

We have a walker!

7 days short of his 1st birthday and we finally have a walker! After over 6 months of crawling I never thought it was going to happen but yesterday afternoon he tested it out and I thought maybe he would wake up today and not remember any of it but he has. He takes about 10steps from an object if he is already standing and about 4-5 if he stands up by himself. He is still very wobbly but I think he finally understands there is a point to it and is really trying to work hard at it :)

Nothing else going on really still trying to sort the house and feel like I get absolutely no where most days. I was finally able to buy a free standing pantry and that has made a huge difference for me to be able to start sorting things. Still lots and lots to go before the big mans birthday next week but now I at least feel it's achievable.

Bubba boy is going well too. Making me tired but that's expected now. I have started thinking about the birth and remembering Tyler's. It's amazing how much u actually block out. The biggest issue for me is Tyler. I know my obgyn said the 2nd time u will know what's going on more. I really don't feel that way and actually feel a bit anxious by it. My mum is a drinker so I can't get her to look after Tyler at night. My sister may travel from interstate and be here before bub is born so we may be able to drop Tyler there but her son will be 9 months then. To get Tyler anywhere and then to the hospital the trip will be around an hour/ hour and a half. During the day my mum or sister will come to our place and take him from there to save us time well not really it will take them at least 20mins to get here. Then it's 40-45 mins to the hospital. Middle of the night my mum can't drive and I wouldn't want my sister to wake her little one. B's mum is going to come up but she is a 14 hour drive away and won't leave until I am in labour so she can spend more time here with the kids. I really don't know what we can do. I have friends but they all have little ones I wouldn't want to disturb in the middle of the night.
Then there is Tyler's attachment issues with me. I am already worried about the 4 days I have to spend in hospital let alone before bub is born and B and I are both out. He is comfortable with nanna but that's it. He is my velco baby at the moment and only I can put him down to sleep. I know it's 3 months away and lots can change but it's definitely playing on my mind.

Then there is the labour itself. I was so violently ill during Tyler's birth :(

I found my epi-no the other day. Probably won't start using that until 36weeks so still awhile away but at least I managed to find it.

My goodness I can ramble on! Supposed to be doing house work so I should probably go do it!

26+1

Last week in the 2nd trimester, 97days to go and I have to say I feel every bit exhausted!

poor Tyler has been sick, took him to the dr yesterday as everyone said I should, I was thinking he was ok and it would pass. I was correct, dr said yes he is sick it seems viral and it should pass. He said if the diarrhea is still around on monday to get a sample and send it off. He has been good today only one very very large runny poo, he ate his breakfast and lunch and is standing up again on his own and looking to try and take steps again which means his strength is back.

I Found a little bit of energy this morning lasted about 3 hours and I got some organizing done around the house! I still have so much to do before Tyler's party.

Fathers day tomorrow I think B just wants to head down to the water for a picnic or something. Should be a nice day out hopefully.

The weather is starting warm up nicely, shame I have nothing summery to wear in terms of maternity and I certainly don't want to show any skin. :( I was 12days off having Tyler this time last year so I just hid inside and after well I was too busy with a new born to think of heading out for the day. Still just under 14weeks left of gorgeous sunshine while pregnant and I want Tyler out there enjoying it so I will just have to suck it up! I am fat for a reason, lol not that it makes me feel any better about it!

just wanted to give a shout out to kiminus and wish u all the luck with the up and coming birth of ur little princess!

Babies everywhere. Cookie ur due soon, bubbalove due on the same day in Oct as u both got ur bfp on the exact same day from ur FET! That was a wonderful day! My friend who's little girl is 5 days older than tyler just found out she is 6 weeks pregnant and due in may. There are 4 of us in my sept mums group pregnant again, one due a couple of days before me, one the start of Jan and one the end of feb and me of course. I am sure a few more will start popping up now, the baby talk has begun.

It's still very surreal to think in 14weeks I will have another little man. The other night I had a dream that he was born and Tyler was holding his little brother but it was him. It's strange to think it will be a completely different bub. No idea if that makes any sense at all.

Omfg the heart burn is killing me. Even the Zantac isn't working very well. I have mentioned though that this bub feels like it sitting in my throat so it must be pushing everything up so much higher.

Enough rambling for the day I have more house work I should be doing!

25+4

its been a while oops. I have been struggling a bit lately. :( lots of negative crap going on and I am finding it hard to deal with. Not up for going over it but hoping to come out the other side eventually.

25+4 today time is slowly ticking on past.  I have been sick again for a few days now. Dry reaching and OMG the exhaustion.  I feel like I am 35weeks pregnant not 25.  I am hoping its just bubba boy going through a growth spurt and it all passes.

Tyler has been off for about a week now. He is grumpy when he is awake but he has been so super tired all the time and sleeping lots. he is off all solid food. We are trying to persist but its painful.  He is back to 5 bottles a day, he just seems to want that comfort and then to go back to sleep. he had a slight temp on Saturday night, I gave him some panadol and he slept fine. Not sure what it is. A friend mentioned she spoke to a nurse about her Daughter who is 5 days older than Tyler and has been off as well and the nurse said at around 12 months no matter how many teeth they do or don't have their molars and eye teeth start moving and it can cause pain and temperatures, irritability etc. So it could be this or just a growth spurt or even maybe an ear ache.  Not really sure.  He seems OK so hopefully it passes soon.

He has 5 teeth now though so he is slowly catching up.  He has taken 2 steps and was so close to taking off and then he got sick or what ever he is now so nothing has happened in a week.  He has trouble finding the strength to even stand at the moment. I will give it another week and if he is no better I will take him to the Dr.

All moved into the new place now, just have to sort everything out. Looks like a bomb hit the place.  I am trying to set up Tyler's big boy room but its not really going anywhere.  I just find I do little bits and I am exhausted again.  Maybe Tyler and I have the same thing who knows.

Well this morning I went back through and deleted all the photos of Tyler on here.  I have noticed a heap of traffic through my blog recently and its just bothered me.  I only have 5 people following so not sure why there would be 25views to one page and the main traffic source was from northern Europe? Although I just went and had another look and that traffic seems to have stopped recently.  I have no problem with like minded people reading along and I have never put an inappropriate photo up of him but it made me realise even though this blog is on no searches etc that people can still manage to find it and view it. There are some scary people out there and I don't want them even looking at my kids. I had no problem with the 2 or 3 views I was getting but yeah 20+ views on single pages is a little concerning. So no more pics of him or the new bub either.

Tyler has been doing swimming lessons for a month now and is loving it.  He is so much more confident now which is wonderful.  He can roll himself over and he puts his head under no issues, there is a step that has the water up to his shoulder and he walks along that no problems. I would love to continue on to the toddler class but unfortunately we can't afford it.  Just have to swim in nannas pool for the summer.  Someone else will have to take him in when bub is born though, if I remember its about 3-4 weeks of bleeding so therefore around 3-4 weeks of no swimming. I have ask my OBGYN, I know ur only supposed to wear pads but maybe just maybe lol? I know wishful thinking, it was OK when Tyler was born sept was too cold for swimming but this time its Dec and definite swimming time! I have a blow up pool activity thing I bought him for Christmas so he can play in that too but I would love to be able to cool off in the water too.

I go through waves of being excited and then being completely petrified about the new bub joining us.  15months is very close together and we are financially really struggling right now so B is working his business during the day and then 2-3night shifts a week so he isn't around really at all.  some how we still have no money but anyway that's for another day. Having a little baby and a 15month old, some days I wonder how I am going to cope others I get super excited about the little man joining us.  I know I have it in me to get through it, just freaks me out sometimes.

not sure if any of this is making sense. I have to try and get to the optomitrist. I know they say your eyes change shape during pregnancy so I haven't wanted to waste the money but my eyes are getting really bad.  I am having trouble focusing especially when driving. :( I found my old glasses yesterday so I am going to try them out for a few days. I was only ever supposed to wear them whilst reading and on the computer and the prescription is about 5 years old but if they work it will save me some money.  If they don't I will have to go as driving has become very difficult and I think what set off my migraine yesterday.

enough blabble for one day, half of it probably doesn't make any sense. Oh well.

Belly pic  25+3

24 Weeks

YAY we have made it to the 24week mark.  Definitely don't want bubba boy coming early but at least I now know if he does he has a chance.

Have an appointment with Dr A at 1pm so it will be good to see bubba again.

Now that I have moved I finally have a computer and internet so I can share some pics of bubba boys 20week ultrasound.

Definitely a boy!

All moved!

Well the move is complete well on my side of things! I still have to clean the other place which I will probably do tomorrow but it's 90% done. Almost all sorted here too just general tidying to do everything is in place. Clothes still need sorting but that's about it!

I am looking forward to seeing the obgyn on friday. I don't know if it's the way the little guy is sitting but he seems really quiet. I have been doing so much and lifting stuff I probably shouldn't but life does go on and I just had to get it done. He got a few bumps and knocks a couple were a bit hard but he is still moving but just seems so soft and quiet. :( just be good to check on him. I will be 24 weeks on Friday! Yay!

Tyler is good. Had a few bad nights when we first moved. Unsettled in a new place I guess. Back to sleeping properly though which is good.

This stupid cold I have won't bugger off but it probably doesn't help that I have been so flat out.

Finally a pic of Tyler's birthday present. It's getting there. Some lights to go on and wheels etc but it's looking good. Not liking the steering wheel will have to convince B to get a different one. We'll see

Moving.

So we were approved for the house on friday afternoon at 4:30. Yay!!! Pain in the rear though they wanted the bond and 2 weeks rent in advance on Saturday. Ummm hello banks aren't open. Lucky I have 2 accounts and could borrow a little from mum as u have a limit of $1000 on EFT in 1 day so I maxed out both my savings accounts and the little bit left I borrowed from mum till I could get more out the next day. Then I had to find a post office open for a money order as the real-estate wouldn't take cash.

Lol so after a lot of running around and fussing it's all sorted. We sign the lease wednesday and start moving. I'm really looking forward to it. One big thing is being able to do washing whilst Tyler is asleep. At the moment the laundry is right outside his room and it has no door so it just keeps him awake. The new house has the laundry away from the bedroom and it has a door! Yay.

So I have been using the cloth nappies pretty much full time and i love them. I have bought some more just waiting for them to arrive. I have also ordered some soap nuts so it will be interesting to see what they are like.

B did up Tyler's bday invites today. Very cute. He loves hoot from giggle and hoot so we have themed it so. Not going over board of course the invites have hoot on them and I am doing a hoot cake and will also do some hoot cake pops :) food wise i am think BBQ meat, a few different lettuce salads, a potato salad, bread rolls not sure what else still thinking. It's good to finally be able to start thinking about it.

I'm doing savory scrolls for the sept birthday party on Friday. Better not forget lol.

I have an appointment with the obgyn coming, i think. Lol i think it's around the 16th. Should find the card and have a look. I am looking forward to seeing bub again. He is kicking lots and lots which is great but I have been having pains lately. It's more muscle tiredness pains I think. Tyler having a man cold means he is super duper sooky still so he is demanding my attention all the time. I am picking him up lots and playing with him where he climbs all over me jumps on me etc, he also throws a tantrum when ever I change his nappy, he hates the change table but it's so far to get down to the floor all the time, but he starts kicking about and has kicked me in the tummy a bit. I am thinking it's just a round ligament type pain it's usually only on one side at a time and goes from my hip bone and round the bottom of my bump. It doesn't go down to the pubic bone like I would expect with round ligament it goes up toward my belly button. As he is moving lots and I simply think it's from never stopping and constantly picking up an 11kg 11month old. :) as i said it will be good to see him again just to put my mind as ease.

I am looking forward to reaching that 24week mark. Being 22+2 not far to go. I know if bub was born it would have a fight on it's hand but knowing it at least had a chance is so important. I really don't see this one coming early but it's good to pass those milestones.

Whoa exhausted bed time.

Man cold

Well even at 10months old they get the man flu lol. Tyler and I have both come down with a cold but put that with him teething and his world is coming to an end. Poor bugger. He spent all day yesterday crying, whinging and just being down right grumpy. He was better today but still grumpy.

It explains why i have been tired though, its probably been trying to get me for a week or so. Doesn't help I have been forgetting to take my multivitamin. I have been eating really well lots of fruit and veg so I didn't think I needed to take one everyday. Guess I still should be especially when pregnant.

Tyler has learnt how to throw a whopper of a tantrum. Can definitely do my head in. Most of the time I just completely ignore him but they are seeming to be getting worse. Hopefully it's just a mix of the cold and the teething etc and it passes.

He is doing really well at his swimming lessons. He is already putting more of his head under himself. He doesn't like using the mat and being out of the water. But when the water is heated and it's cold outside who would want to get out. Lol the kids knows what he wants! My mum is coming to watch next week so I will hopefully get some photos finally.

We put an application in for a house yesterday! It's $15 more than where I am now and it has an extra bedroom and bathroom and is generally much bigger. Has a double garage which is great too. I am hoping we get it. It's just down the road from where i am now, I did want to move closer to the city and my family and friends but I do really like the house so we can make it work :)

I have an inspection here on sat morning so I better do house work tomorrow.

I can't believe Tyler is 1 in 6 weeks. Where on earth did that year go? We are having a combined birthday of all the sept bubs next Friday it will be nice to get some pics of how much they have changed. We are doing a secret Santa and I have no idea what to get mine. I got one of the boys which u would think having a boy I would know what to get lol nope! Girls are so much easier to buy for! Oh well thinking cap on. I have two friends I see lots and I want to get their little girls something too so i will have to get shopping. Oh and it's my mums birthday on monday so I have to get her something too. Lol lots of birthdays.

Bubba bean is doing well. 22weeks tomorrow. I remember with Tyler 20-30weeks went really really slow! With all these birthdays coming up and moving house etc hopefully it all goes quick.

Well going to do some house work before bed :)

Tired!

Omg I am so tired! Honestly it was easier being flat out at work than it is looking after another bub and being pregnant. The last week has been crazy, we just don't stop, poor Tyler isn't getting all his naps so can get super tired and just crack it.

I think I mentioned Tyler started swimming lessons on Tuesday. Well he had his 2nd lesson today and he clung onto me for about 30secs and was then fine. After a while he was like mum I want to swim why do u keep making me hold onto u! Lol. The lady said it wont be long and we can put his head under, he is really relaxed and confident which is great. He smiles and laughs and splashes around which is really good. Having 2 lessons a week is great too so by summer he should be fine to get into mums pool. I was only going to do the 2 month block but if he really likes it I might keep him going. It's a good activity and good exercise for him. It's a heated pool so he can do it year round. Its expensive so maybe drop it to once a week but I really want to keep him as active as possible so it just might be worth the money.

Finally I am going to start using cloth nappies this week! I have wanted to use them from the start but B's step mum was making them but it never happened but now a few girls in my sept mums group were selling some they never used so I managed to get a heap for cheap :) yay!!! Can't wait to try them out. I have to find the 2000 flushable bamboo liners I bought.

Well in my taking ages to finish this post I found the liners and have started using the nappies. They are nice :) we will see how we go with them :)

Off to view this rental place this afternoon. I have the application all filled out and photocopied all required paperwork so if we like it we can just hand it over. Fingers crossed I just want it sorted!

Taking Tyler to the dr at 12. He has had a bit of an ear ache for a few weeks now. It was really bothering him at his swimming lesson yesterday, just sticking his finger in there and pulling at the eat so we will get it checked out. Don't want him getting an eat infection. :(

I have been scouting for some bargains on a local garage sale site on FB. Well I got one yesterday. A little trike for Tyler. $10!!! It's a little old an rusty but who cares for $10! Means he can treat it any way he wants and it doesn't matter. Now to get a baby helmet for him.

B has also started Tyler's bed. :) will look great when it's finished. I have ordered the personalized novelty number plate 'TYLER' it will have a toy box on the front, working headlights, and a steering wheel. It's going to be red and black and at the moment I am trying to find some flame stickers! I think he will love it.