Berry
Tyler
Blake
Monday, December 31, 2012
Similarities
I was just looking through my photos and remembered I did a photo comparison of the boys when they were just 1 day old. Wow they were so similar. As Blake gets older I can see the differences more and more but u can undoubtedly tell they are brothers. The one that blows me away is the fine little line that runs down the front of both of their noses just slightly to the right of the middle of the nose.
Confessions
1/1/13 Happy New Year!
So I have decided that in order to smash my weightless goals I have to fully embrace where I am now and how I got here. This is probably going to be the hardest blog post I have ever done. Admitting ur weight is a very hard thing to do but by doing so u have owned up to it, u can't hide from it any longer, can't just ignore it and pretend it isn't there.
When I walked down the aisle on my wedding day 12/6/09 I was 71kg. My goal then had been 65kg but I never made it. In september i fell pregnant and sadly lost it and again had another long miscarriage in January 10. 8 months of unsuccessful trying and i had gained 15kg and was up to 86kg. It was a very long emotional time, I ate too much didn't exercise enough.
When I fell pregnant in December 2010 I was too scared to exercise so didn't throughout my whole pregnancy other going on very light walks. I gained too much weight and on the day i gave birth to Tyler I weighed in at 110kg :(
After he was born I tried to get back into exercise but I took time as I wasn't really trying too hard and not eating overly well and 6 months later I weighed in at 86.5kg but that month found out I was pregnant again.
Again my fear of miscarriage had me too scared to exercise and although I ate better if I don't exercise I gain weight.
On the day Blake was born I weighed in at 104.4kg. :(
3 1/2 weeks on and I have lost 11.1kg and weigh in at 93.3kg. Ouch. But I do have to start somewhere. I am eating well but ensuring enough calories for BFing. I have started light walks 5km/hour for 40mins. Only doing 3.3km all up and I can feel my body still has healing to do so the light walks are good right now. I will build back up to running but at the moment just doing what I can. :)
I will weigh in everyday. I know it's not the best idea but I do anyway so i might as well log it.
Starting weight: 104.4kg (7/12/12)
Goal: 65kg
1/1/13: 93.3kg (11.1kg lost/28.3kg to go)
So I have decided that in order to smash my weightless goals I have to fully embrace where I am now and how I got here. This is probably going to be the hardest blog post I have ever done. Admitting ur weight is a very hard thing to do but by doing so u have owned up to it, u can't hide from it any longer, can't just ignore it and pretend it isn't there.
When I walked down the aisle on my wedding day 12/6/09 I was 71kg. My goal then had been 65kg but I never made it. In september i fell pregnant and sadly lost it and again had another long miscarriage in January 10. 8 months of unsuccessful trying and i had gained 15kg and was up to 86kg. It was a very long emotional time, I ate too much didn't exercise enough.
When I fell pregnant in December 2010 I was too scared to exercise so didn't throughout my whole pregnancy other going on very light walks. I gained too much weight and on the day i gave birth to Tyler I weighed in at 110kg :(
After he was born I tried to get back into exercise but I took time as I wasn't really trying too hard and not eating overly well and 6 months later I weighed in at 86.5kg but that month found out I was pregnant again.
Again my fear of miscarriage had me too scared to exercise and although I ate better if I don't exercise I gain weight.
On the day Blake was born I weighed in at 104.4kg. :(
3 1/2 weeks on and I have lost 11.1kg and weigh in at 93.3kg. Ouch. But I do have to start somewhere. I am eating well but ensuring enough calories for BFing. I have started light walks 5km/hour for 40mins. Only doing 3.3km all up and I can feel my body still has healing to do so the light walks are good right now. I will build back up to running but at the moment just doing what I can. :)
I will weigh in everyday. I know it's not the best idea but I do anyway so i might as well log it.
Starting weight: 104.4kg (7/12/12)
Goal: 65kg
1/1/13: 93.3kg (11.1kg lost/28.3kg to go)
Sunday, December 30, 2012
2013
It's NYE tomorrow marks the start of a new year.
I have to say i am certainly looking forward to it!
2012 wasn't the best year for us. It started off very badly. Ben with his PND and the drugs and gambling and me no longer being able to help him :( we separated and it was a very difficult time.
Due to one night of not thinking I fell pregnant in march. At first I really wasn't sure how to deal with this. It was a very bad time and at that point in time I didn't see any hope of ben and I getting back together.
When my lease was due for renewal ben asked if we could move back in together and I agreed for the boys. Surprisingly ben turned a leaf and completely changed. We still have our difficult days but since we sold our house and no longer have financial ties to either family our relationship is so much stronger.
In september Tyler turned one and then
In december our little Blake was born.
These first few months will be a transition always is. I remember when Tyler hit 4 months everything changed. I don't particularly enjoy this newborn stage. Its all sleeping, pooing and eating. I don't even get to cuddle Blake much other than feeding time as I am so busy with Tyler. Blake is self settler so I notice he is tired and pop him in his crib and he puts himself to sleep! I love the stage when then start to notice the world, when they are a bit stronger and not so fragile. When they begin to smile and giggle and respond to u. I am really looking forward to getting to that point. Tyler was 6 week when he first smiled and from there it all started to change but it was at about 4 months when he really started to become his own little man.
I can't wait for the boys to be able to interact more. :)
All this is going to happen next year.
2013 is going to be a great year :)
I have to say i am certainly looking forward to it!
2012 wasn't the best year for us. It started off very badly. Ben with his PND and the drugs and gambling and me no longer being able to help him :( we separated and it was a very difficult time.
Due to one night of not thinking I fell pregnant in march. At first I really wasn't sure how to deal with this. It was a very bad time and at that point in time I didn't see any hope of ben and I getting back together.
When my lease was due for renewal ben asked if we could move back in together and I agreed for the boys. Surprisingly ben turned a leaf and completely changed. We still have our difficult days but since we sold our house and no longer have financial ties to either family our relationship is so much stronger.
In september Tyler turned one and then
In december our little Blake was born.
These first few months will be a transition always is. I remember when Tyler hit 4 months everything changed. I don't particularly enjoy this newborn stage. Its all sleeping, pooing and eating. I don't even get to cuddle Blake much other than feeding time as I am so busy with Tyler. Blake is self settler so I notice he is tired and pop him in his crib and he puts himself to sleep! I love the stage when then start to notice the world, when they are a bit stronger and not so fragile. When they begin to smile and giggle and respond to u. I am really looking forward to getting to that point. Tyler was 6 week when he first smiled and from there it all started to change but it was at about 4 months when he really started to become his own little man.
I can't wait for the boys to be able to interact more. :)
All this is going to happen next year.
2013 is going to be a great year :)
Blogging
So I have been thinking about this blog for the last couple of weeks and trying to decide what I want to do with it.
It originally started out as a TTC blog a place where I could come and vent and share my journey. Now I have two gorgeous little boys and for now my family is complete.
I am now aiming to lose all my baby weight that I gained since I started TTC in July 2009. 30kg is a lot of weight to lose and it will be challenging being so busy with 2 under 2. Perhaps I can blog this journey.
Also having 2 under 2 sharing the journey of this might be an idea as I can imagine although it's been rather easy so far I suspect it will get harder. I do know I enjoy reading Jess's blog about her experience of 2 boys under2.
I am also going to have to return to work in 2013. This is something that has been on my mind for long time. I am thinking a career change is in order but I have no idea where to or doing what. Something I am going to have to put a lot of thought into.
I guess I do still have a lot to blog about it's just a matter of finding time. I do need a layout change etc. This one is getting really old now. Also need to update those tickers! Maybe later when the boys are napping.
Poor little Blake had a really bad night last night. Not sure what was bothering him. :( he is sound asleep now thank goodness as even in the few hours sleep He did manage He was very restless so didn't get into a deep sleep. Maybe it was something I ate yesterday? I was very angry at myself though as I was just so tired and I just wanted to go to sleep. He can't help it :( poor bugger. I just got frustrated with him and I shouldn't have.
The end of this week will be very interesting. Ben's nanna passed away yesterday so he had to go back home for the funeral. :( unfortunately we can't afford for him to fly so he is driving back with his 2 brothers that also live near us. That means he will gone for 4 days!
That leaves me with Tyler and Blake on my own. I am sure we will be fine, dinner and bath time is the hardest. I can feed blake and Tyler at the same time no problems there I have done that many times now but bathing is different. We will work it out :)
Tomorrow is a new year and I'm really looking forward to it :) love my little family :)
It originally started out as a TTC blog a place where I could come and vent and share my journey. Now I have two gorgeous little boys and for now my family is complete.
I am now aiming to lose all my baby weight that I gained since I started TTC in July 2009. 30kg is a lot of weight to lose and it will be challenging being so busy with 2 under 2. Perhaps I can blog this journey.
Also having 2 under 2 sharing the journey of this might be an idea as I can imagine although it's been rather easy so far I suspect it will get harder. I do know I enjoy reading Jess's blog about her experience of 2 boys under2.
I am also going to have to return to work in 2013. This is something that has been on my mind for long time. I am thinking a career change is in order but I have no idea where to or doing what. Something I am going to have to put a lot of thought into.
I guess I do still have a lot to blog about it's just a matter of finding time. I do need a layout change etc. This one is getting really old now. Also need to update those tickers! Maybe later when the boys are napping.
Poor little Blake had a really bad night last night. Not sure what was bothering him. :( he is sound asleep now thank goodness as even in the few hours sleep He did manage He was very restless so didn't get into a deep sleep. Maybe it was something I ate yesterday? I was very angry at myself though as I was just so tired and I just wanted to go to sleep. He can't help it :( poor bugger. I just got frustrated with him and I shouldn't have.
The end of this week will be very interesting. Ben's nanna passed away yesterday so he had to go back home for the funeral. :( unfortunately we can't afford for him to fly so he is driving back with his 2 brothers that also live near us. That means he will gone for 4 days!
That leaves me with Tyler and Blake on my own. I am sure we will be fine, dinner and bath time is the hardest. I can feed blake and Tyler at the same time no problems there I have done that many times now but bathing is different. We will work it out :)
Tomorrow is a new year and I'm really looking forward to it :) love my little family :)
Saturday, December 29, 2012
Blake weeks 0-3
Seeing as we are looking at how fast Tyler changed thought i should show how much little Blake has changed too!
I would do this first month with Tyler but I don't have those pics on my phone anymore.
Newborn
1week
2weeks
3weeks
I would do this first month with Tyler but I don't have those pics on my phone anymore.
Newborn
1week
2weeks
3weeks
Friday, December 28, 2012
We have a sleeper!
Little Blake is 3 weeks old now and so far it appears we have a sleeper. Hopefully I don't jinx myself lol.
Other than his 2 day growth spurt christmas eve and Christmas day where he woke every 2 hours he normally sleeps 3-4hour blocks. Last night he went from 7:45pm-12:45am fed until nearly 2am and slept until 5:15am! Couldn't believe it! Tyler woke every 2 hours for months and was so bad at his day naps. Blake can actually already settle himself back to sleep. Although a screaming toddler does make that hard for him sometime.
Even though I am getting so much more sleep I feel more tired than I did with Tyler. I have a really stuff neck so maybe a trip to the chiropractor might help. It's a little hard at the moment though without a routine knowing my luck Blake will want a feed right at my appointment time.
BFing is going so much better now. My nipples are all healed so I no longer have to use shields. Blake is attaching heaps better and feeding really well. My milk feels like it's establishing well this time.
We had a wonderful Christmas.
Tyler was old enough this year to understand things a little bit. He enjoyed all of his present played with them heaps. Boxing day I put the tree away and also some toys. I pulled out all the toys blake will start using soon and kept out the next stage ones for Tyler. Still lots of toys out though my whole living area is his play space.
Little Blake is now 4.2kg and 54cm! Growing so fast.
Tyler is doing well although has started the full on tantrums. Didn't helped having guests here that would run and give him attention as soon as he started his tantrum. May take some time but hopefully we will get back into his happy independent play. While i'm BFing he needs to be able to happily occupy myself.
So the 1/1/13 is a couple of days away and I have given myself nearly a month to recover from the birth so am looking forward to getting stuck into loosing this baby weight. My goal is to lose 30kg. Hopefully at least 25kg before my sisters wedding in august. I lost 11kg since the birth and I am planning on easing into things this time. I pushed it a bit hard after Tyler this time I know better. Slow walks and things to begin. The boys seem to be napping at the same time every day and as Blake is sleeping so well at night I don't need a day nap so am planning on using that time to start exercising. See how we go I won't beat myself up if I don't get to exercise every day. The house needs a good clean first lol
And talking of house work I should get started!
Other than his 2 day growth spurt christmas eve and Christmas day where he woke every 2 hours he normally sleeps 3-4hour blocks. Last night he went from 7:45pm-12:45am fed until nearly 2am and slept until 5:15am! Couldn't believe it! Tyler woke every 2 hours for months and was so bad at his day naps. Blake can actually already settle himself back to sleep. Although a screaming toddler does make that hard for him sometime.
Even though I am getting so much more sleep I feel more tired than I did with Tyler. I have a really stuff neck so maybe a trip to the chiropractor might help. It's a little hard at the moment though without a routine knowing my luck Blake will want a feed right at my appointment time.
BFing is going so much better now. My nipples are all healed so I no longer have to use shields. Blake is attaching heaps better and feeding really well. My milk feels like it's establishing well this time.
We had a wonderful Christmas.
Tyler was old enough this year to understand things a little bit. He enjoyed all of his present played with them heaps. Boxing day I put the tree away and also some toys. I pulled out all the toys blake will start using soon and kept out the next stage ones for Tyler. Still lots of toys out though my whole living area is his play space.
Little Blake is now 4.2kg and 54cm! Growing so fast.
Tyler is doing well although has started the full on tantrums. Didn't helped having guests here that would run and give him attention as soon as he started his tantrum. May take some time but hopefully we will get back into his happy independent play. While i'm BFing he needs to be able to happily occupy myself.
So the 1/1/13 is a couple of days away and I have given myself nearly a month to recover from the birth so am looking forward to getting stuck into loosing this baby weight. My goal is to lose 30kg. Hopefully at least 25kg before my sisters wedding in august. I lost 11kg since the birth and I am planning on easing into things this time. I pushed it a bit hard after Tyler this time I know better. Slow walks and things to begin. The boys seem to be napping at the same time every day and as Blake is sleeping so well at night I don't need a day nap so am planning on using that time to start exercising. See how we go I won't beat myself up if I don't get to exercise every day. The house needs a good clean first lol
And talking of house work I should get started!
Saturday, December 15, 2012
Life with 2
Little Blake is now 9 days old and sleeping like a champion :) this of course still might change once he hits the 2 week mark but at the moment the sleep is definitely helping everyone.
Tyler has settled in well with him so far again though it's still early days. The thing putting him out the most is the people who have come to help. My sister didn't stick to any of his routines or feeding or anything. Lucky for me he still goes down for his nap and his bed time fine. MIL has been here for a few days and omg the woman needs to relax. I'm a laid back person and although I like to stick to tylers routine we have no other engagements or appointments we need to be at. U go about ur day and it all gets done. MIL flies around the house like a chicken with her head cut off and it's making me anxious. It just radiates off her. She also can handle the kids crying at all. Tyler is learning very fast that if he throws a tantrum nanna comes immediately running! She also doesn't allow him any independent play time. I completely understand she is wanting to get to know him but he can't do anything without her being right there. She constantly tries to entertain him. I am worried about this because once she goes home I can't give Tyler that attention. He was great at his indepedent playing and even the 2 Days I was here with just me and the boys he just happily played while I bfed. It's been a couple of days and already he now demands my attention while bfing. I have spoken to B and asked him to speak to her. I appreciate where she is coming from but it's a habit I can't let Tyler take a hold of.
We had a bit of a hitch with BFing, I was feeding little man thursday night I think it was when I was burping him he spat up some bright red blood. At first I freaked out a bit seeing blood like that come out of ur newborn is scary! But I realized it was actually from me! My right nipple has lost a little bit of itself lol. I have had to wear a shield for 2 days to let it repair but he attached this morning it wasn't too bad. Still has some healing to do but it's getting better. I just need to be more vigilant about letting it air dry after a feed and then applying lanasoil (sp?) cream.
I thought we were going to have issues with him spewing but we seem to be over it. He spits up a little bit but nothing like the spewing that he was doing.
Not much else happening just plodding along enjoying my little family of 4!
I can't believe how fast time is flying and how much Blake had grown in only a week! Before i know it he will be 1!
Tyler has settled in well with him so far again though it's still early days. The thing putting him out the most is the people who have come to help. My sister didn't stick to any of his routines or feeding or anything. Lucky for me he still goes down for his nap and his bed time fine. MIL has been here for a few days and omg the woman needs to relax. I'm a laid back person and although I like to stick to tylers routine we have no other engagements or appointments we need to be at. U go about ur day and it all gets done. MIL flies around the house like a chicken with her head cut off and it's making me anxious. It just radiates off her. She also can handle the kids crying at all. Tyler is learning very fast that if he throws a tantrum nanna comes immediately running! She also doesn't allow him any independent play time. I completely understand she is wanting to get to know him but he can't do anything without her being right there. She constantly tries to entertain him. I am worried about this because once she goes home I can't give Tyler that attention. He was great at his indepedent playing and even the 2 Days I was here with just me and the boys he just happily played while I bfed. It's been a couple of days and already he now demands my attention while bfing. I have spoken to B and asked him to speak to her. I appreciate where she is coming from but it's a habit I can't let Tyler take a hold of.
We had a bit of a hitch with BFing, I was feeding little man thursday night I think it was when I was burping him he spat up some bright red blood. At first I freaked out a bit seeing blood like that come out of ur newborn is scary! But I realized it was actually from me! My right nipple has lost a little bit of itself lol. I have had to wear a shield for 2 days to let it repair but he attached this morning it wasn't too bad. Still has some healing to do but it's getting better. I just need to be more vigilant about letting it air dry after a feed and then applying lanasoil (sp?) cream.
I thought we were going to have issues with him spewing but we seem to be over it. He spits up a little bit but nothing like the spewing that he was doing.
Not much else happening just plodding along enjoying my little family of 4!
I can't believe how fast time is flying and how much Blake had grown in only a week! Before i know it he will be 1!
Friday, December 7, 2012
He is here
The little man is here.
Blake Matthew
Born 7/12/12 3:46pm
8lb 51cm long 34cm head cm
The day started out well. Got to the hospital at 7am. Dr checked me about 7:30 and i was 3cm dilated so no need for gels and he broke my water straight up. I started getting contractions almost straight away but they weren't increasing so we decided to go with the drip.
Around 11am the contractions really amped up and I asked for the epidural. Finally around 12:15 it was put in. The contractions slowed down for a bit but the midwife was able to increase the drip. It was then we started noticing after every contraction bubs heart rate would drop. The nurse suspected the cord to be around his neck. This dropping HR got worse the stronger the contractions got. At around 3pm they were getting worried and were considering an emergency csection but the dr checked and I was fully dilated and ready to push.
I figured i was as I had break trough pain and i just felt different within myself. I guess I actually felt myself go through transition.
Started pushing at 3pm and he was progressing down the birth canal well but by 3:30 bubs heart rate started plummeting so the dr decided we needed to get him out now!
He used a vacuum and within a couple of pushes he was out. The cord was indeed around his neck and he was very stunned after he came out. He really scared me as he wasn't completely breathing, was very blue in the head, and really stunned. As soon as the cord was cut the nurse took him to the birth cart and he started crying. I was so relieved.
I seriously want my money back for the epidural. I felt absolutely everything. Ok it dulled down the contraction pain for sure. But i felt all of Blake come out. A pain I had absolutely no desire to feel and one of the main reasons why I had epidural.
As Blake had the cord around his neck once his head came 1/2 out I couldn't push :( that's a pain I will never forget. Was the same when I had to start pushing the shoulders. I had to pant instead of push like I really f'ing wanted to. It's a pain I won't forget any time soon that's for sure. I have no idea why on earth women willingly want to feel that. Ouchies!
He is doing well now though. He feed in the birthing suite at around 4:30pm. But by midnight he hadn't fed again. I kept offering him the boob but he wasn't interested :( midwife said his blood sugar may have just dropped too low and he was too tired to suck. So we hand expressed some colostrum and poured it into his mouth. Well he definitely got some energy as he cluster fed every hour after that. I finally got some sleep around 5am for about an hour when the blood lady woke me up.
He is so perfect though.
Blake Matthew
Born 7/12/12 3:46pm
8lb 51cm long 34cm head cm
The day started out well. Got to the hospital at 7am. Dr checked me about 7:30 and i was 3cm dilated so no need for gels and he broke my water straight up. I started getting contractions almost straight away but they weren't increasing so we decided to go with the drip.
Around 11am the contractions really amped up and I asked for the epidural. Finally around 12:15 it was put in. The contractions slowed down for a bit but the midwife was able to increase the drip. It was then we started noticing after every contraction bubs heart rate would drop. The nurse suspected the cord to be around his neck. This dropping HR got worse the stronger the contractions got. At around 3pm they were getting worried and were considering an emergency csection but the dr checked and I was fully dilated and ready to push.
I figured i was as I had break trough pain and i just felt different within myself. I guess I actually felt myself go through transition.
Started pushing at 3pm and he was progressing down the birth canal well but by 3:30 bubs heart rate started plummeting so the dr decided we needed to get him out now!
He used a vacuum and within a couple of pushes he was out. The cord was indeed around his neck and he was very stunned after he came out. He really scared me as he wasn't completely breathing, was very blue in the head, and really stunned. As soon as the cord was cut the nurse took him to the birth cart and he started crying. I was so relieved.
I seriously want my money back for the epidural. I felt absolutely everything. Ok it dulled down the contraction pain for sure. But i felt all of Blake come out. A pain I had absolutely no desire to feel and one of the main reasons why I had epidural.
As Blake had the cord around his neck once his head came 1/2 out I couldn't push :( that's a pain I will never forget. Was the same when I had to start pushing the shoulders. I had to pant instead of push like I really f'ing wanted to. It's a pain I won't forget any time soon that's for sure. I have no idea why on earth women willingly want to feel that. Ouchies!
He is doing well now though. He feed in the birthing suite at around 4:30pm. But by midnight he hadn't fed again. I kept offering him the boob but he wasn't interested :( midwife said his blood sugar may have just dropped too low and he was too tired to suck. So we hand expressed some colostrum and poured it into his mouth. Well he definitely got some energy as he cluster fed every hour after that. I finally got some sleep around 5am for about an hour when the blood lady woke me up.
He is so perfect though.
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