Confessions

1/1/13 Happy New Year!

So I have decided that in order to smash my weightless goals I have to fully embrace where I am now and how I got here. This is probably going to be the hardest blog post I have ever done. Admitting ur weight is a very hard thing to do but by doing so u have owned up to it, u can't hide from it any longer, can't just ignore it and pretend it isn't there.

When I walked down the aisle on my wedding day 12/6/09 I was 71kg. My goal then had been 65kg but I never made it. In september i fell pregnant and sadly lost it and again had another long miscarriage in January 10. 8 months of unsuccessful trying and i had gained 15kg and was up to 86kg. It was a very long emotional time, I ate too much didn't exercise enough.
When I fell pregnant in December 2010 I was too scared to exercise so didn't throughout my whole pregnancy other going on very light walks. I gained too much weight and on the day i gave birth to Tyler I weighed in at 110kg :(
After he was born I tried to get back into exercise but I took time as I wasn't really trying too hard and not eating overly well and 6 months later I weighed in at 86.5kg but that month found out I was pregnant again.
Again my fear of miscarriage had me too scared to exercise and although I ate better if I don't exercise I gain weight.
On the day Blake was born I weighed in at 104.4kg. :(
3 1/2 weeks on and I have lost 11.1kg and weigh in at 93.3kg. Ouch. But I do have to start somewhere. I am eating well but ensuring enough calories for BFing. I have started light walks 5km/hour for 40mins. Only doing 3.3km all up and I can feel my body still has healing to do so the light walks are good right now. I will build back up to running but at the moment just doing what I can. :)
I will weigh in everyday. I know it's not the best idea but I do anyway so i might as well log it.

Starting weight: 104.4kg (7/12/12)
Goal: 65kg
1/1/13: 93.3kg (11.1kg lost/28.3kg to go)