Surgery

So the appointment went well today.  I go in for surgery on the 13th.  I have to say I am relieved about it! Dr D was really good about it.  We also don't have to wait after the surgery and I should ovulate again on the 18/19th.  Fingers crossed we catch that egg. That would be so nice! A 2011 baby. That would be perfect :) and a baby before my 29th Birthday.  Testing day would be 1/1/11. Surely thats a lucky day! I will take any luck I can get these days.

I am excited to get this ball rolling.  I know there is a chance that I am pregnant this cycle. But its such a slim chance and I am not holding out any hope, 8DPO and I feel nothing! I am actually so excited that we might actually be able to have a baby.  I am hoping of course that it isn't a big issue to fix at that this surgery will clear the tube and we will be right to go :) I will hold onto that hope until something takes it away and surely its time for me to be able to keep a hold of that hope!!

Tomorrow

So tomorrow I finally go back to Dr D. I have to get bloods done first thing in the morning for my CD21 progesterone. Its actually CD22 tomorrow but it wont matter.  I know I ovulate and have had this test done before.  But I have to say I am a little nervous with the path Dr D might want to or not want to take.

DH and I have both decided that we want to have the tube fixed.  Being a proximal blockage it seems to be Tubal cannulation the method for fixing.  which is good no really actual surgery, its like being forcefully flushed out. Depends on the issue they find when they actually get in there I guess.

My worry is that he wont want to do anything because I do still have one good functioning tube and that ovary does ovulate. But my chances are about 10% :( which is CRAP! Dr A said something about being able to get pregnant from both ovaries with one tube.  I know its possible but its so rare.  I am a little disappointed he said that. I know he is very optimistic and I do appreciate but that sometimes I simply just prefer the truth to rose coloured optimism. Anyway yeah so I am worried he wont want to do anything. Also worried that as they close down for Christmas they wont doing anything until the new year. I know its only another 2 months but I am tired of waiting for all of this.  That will take me up to 17months! :(

I am not really holding out much hope for this cycle, last weekend was completely flat out and DH and I had so much on we actually didn't see each other from Thursday until Monday :( so we got some BDing in Wed night and Monday night but having ovulated on either Sat or Sun I think our chances are extremely slim!

Hopefully I get a nice surprise tomorrow and the Dr is all good.  I am tired of being palmed off.  I seriously want to say I told you so.  That is childish of course but I did know something wasn't right.  I fell pregnant twice so easily then nothing for months nothing! If I hadn't pushed and fort for it we could still be plugging away at this until April when Dr D said it was a more reasonable time frame to look into things.

Had an awesome day yesterday, I spring cleaned the house for Christmas. I did every cupboard and threw out so much stuff.  Feels nice. Trying to decide if I will put up a tree this year. Probably not. No real point in our house until we have kids. Going to make fruit mince pie's and some shortbread cookies and rum balls. Yum.

Well best get to enjoying my Sunday!

Weekend

So after what I seriously believe to be the longest week in history its finally the weekend.  I have to work this weekend but thats OK majority of it I will not be anywhere near the place.  I have a spa day tomorrow with my best friend. So looking forward to that. Then I have DH's christmas party tomorrow night. That is always interesting. Then Sunday its work and hopefully some relaxation.

Oh yeah and D-Day again for another month.  I am really hoping it was my left ovary this month.  Its a natural cycle for me no drugs. my CM has returned to normal and hopefully with the flush out I got on Monday it helps get DH's swimmers up there.  It all depends now on which follicle took over.  The one on the left was 12.6mm on Monday the right only 8.9mm. So surely it was the left one!!

Finally getting over this cold thing too.  Had a shocking sore throat and killer headaches all week.

Well wish me luck. If not I still have another 10days until I go back to Dr D.

report from HSG

so my report came in. Don't know what to think of most of it.  Not sure if the position of my left ovary might create problems too.  I have emailed it to Dr A because I value his opinion and what that before
I go back to Dr D.  In the plus side its my left ovary does have the dominant follicle and was at 12.6mm on Monday. We might actually be in with a chance this month.

This is part of the report. mostly good except for the block right tube obviously!

Findings:

Ultrasound

Transabdominal and endovaginal ultrasound confirms the uterus to be anteverted, midline and of small/normal volume, the body 19.4cc (L3.2cm, H3.2cm, W3.7cm). No focal fibroids or underlying congenital anomaly demonstrated. Striped endometrium 6.0mm with no intracavity mass or fluid. No focal findings of note in the endocervix apart from an occasional nabothian follicle.

Both ovaries are well seen and appear normal in volume, the right 7.0cc, the left 4.9cc, each containing multiple follicles with some variation in follicle size, up to 9mm in the right ovary, 12mm in the left. Please note the left ovary lies deep in the pouch of Douglas, the right ovary is more laterally placed toward the ovarian fossa.  No Intraparenchymal or extraovarian mass. No associated free fluid. No Hydrosalpinx on the unenhanced ultrasound.

Review of the upper renal tract confirms no dilation to either collecting system, right kidney 11.4cm, the left kidney 10.4cm, axial length.

Sonohysterosalpingography

Following discussion and written consent, the combined contrast study was performed under sterile technique utilizing a 7F HSG catheter placed in the endocervical canal, the balloon minimally inflated to achieve a watertight seal. Initially, sterile saline introduced separates the mucosa to confirm a normal triangular endometrial cavity, no intracavity mass, synechiae or adhesions. Subsequently, echogenic contrast (Levovist) introduced again outlines the triangular endometrial cavity with preferential left tubal flow and free peritoneal spill on this side.  Despite adequate intracavity pressure no right tubal flow could be demonstrated. With this technique, tubal spasm is usually easily overcome and this raises the possibility of proximal right tubal obstruction. No hydrosalpinx can be identified.

Summary

Uterus: Small/Normal volume uterus, anteverted to axial. No underlying congenital anomaly, no focal fibroids.

Endometrium: Striped endometrium 6.0mm would be consistent with the proliferative phase of the cycle with no intracavity mass or fluid. No focal findings of note in the endocervix.

Ovaries/Adnexae: Both ovaries are well seen and appear normal in volume, each containing multiple follicles with variation in follicle size and distribution as detailed in the body of the report. There is some minor dystrophic calcification on the surface of the right ovary, the left ovary is deeply situated in the pouch of Douglas adjacent the fundus of the uterus. The right ovary lies toward the lateral ovarian fossa.  There are no other specific findings elsewhere in the pelvis on the unenhanced ultrasound.

Sonohysterosalpingography: The combined contrast study confirms a normal triangular endometrial cavity, no intracavity mass, synechiae or adhesions. Preferential left tubal flow and free spill confirmed. Despite adequate intracavity pressure, no tubal flow could be demonstrated and this appearance raises the possibility of proximal right tubal obstruction. No hydrosalpinx. Minor dystrophic calcification on the surface of the right ovary is a nonspecific finding which can follow previous inflammation or infective episodes.  In our population, the most common cause is mild diffuse endometriosis, there are however no other stigmata of this condition. 

Massive blow

So turns out I was right and there was something wrong this whole time! My right tube is 100% blocked :( probably caused by the extended miscarriage at the beginning of the year.  of course I can still get pregnant but the chances are just a lot lower.  I go back to the specialist on the 29th so we will see if I need to go in for surgery.  Explains everything though.  The test today was so painful. A dye test.

I guess I should be able to say at least we know now and we can move forward. I think I have covered just about every base when it comes to TTC though.  Not even going to pretend that stuffs OK.

I am no longer charting or anything. Be good to find out whats next.

An answer

finally an answer this cycle! I didn't test this morning but my temp was its classic 36.61 pre AF dip.  So AF should arrive tomorrow.

I am a little nervous about my appointment this morning.  Not sure why. I hope they don't just throw us out because we have been pregnant twice, and only been back trying for 7 months. but 15months is a very long time and I am not getting any younger. 28 on Sunday :( depressing thought! I don't care about being 28, I have no problem with getting older. good things come as you get older. Its that my clock is ticking and realistically I only have about 7 years of good baby making left and we want 5 kids :( we are cutting it extremely fine!

But at least with it being CD1 tomorrow we can do this cycle as the IVF clinic wants to. I thought we would miss it as I was supposed to be CD3 today. We might be pregnant by chirstmas. That would be so nice! :)

Oh and my baby princess came homes yesterday. i was so relieved. I love her far to much for anything to have happened to her.  Her coming back was my miracle for that month. I couldn't ask for another one. I am just so happy she is home safe and sound.

grrr

I give up no idea what is going on :( temp still up test neg. bbs a little tender but not worth writing home about. Stupid body. AF doesn't even feel close! definitely don't eel pregnant either though.

Peppa still not home :( REALLY REALLY REALLY  worried about her now :(

tuff day

:( it has been a very tough day today.  Doesn't help that I am extremely tired.  I haven't really slept in about 3 weeks.  I go through bouts of insomnia and this one its hitting home. Started about 3 months ago, and has slowly gotten worse! :( down to about 4 hours sleep a night on a good night.

So factor that in, and that my poor little bubby still hasn't come home, I have no idea if I am pregnant or the universe is playing some nasty games with me and you have me in a very thin state.

My bbs are still tender but no where near as sore as they were this morning so thinking AF was just delayed! YAY!
DH is watching the footy and I can't keep my eyes open so might try to head to bed early.

it just gets better

15DPO no sign of AF and test still Negative.  My bbs are REALLY sore today, my mucus is leaning more toward EW! seriously WTF is going on! I also feel really sick today :( My temp is still really high!

Have to wait till tomorrow now!

On another note, my little kitten is missing. She is my little baby, I am so worried about her. She is about 7/8months old now but she is still so tiny. We think she might have gone on heat so we had her locked inside but when we got home from dinner she was gone.  We think she pushed the screen out in our bedroom window.  Its not like her to be gone this long! Please come up baby!

Hopefully tomorrow I find out one way or the other. Definitely still hoping and praying I am pregnant!

OK really confused now!

At this point I am trying to reel myself in. It is probably nothing at all and just another game being played with me, but today I am 14DPO AF is due tomorrow and my temp really spiked!!! It has happened before but always on 13DPO. My bbs are still tender.  Not sore just I can definitely feel them. Get strong stabby pains every now and again. No AF cramps to speak of. I have a twinge pain high on the left. That can be normal for me but its intensified today! CM is still creamy but not as much there as there has been in the past few days. it is only early though so more time will tell.

Problem is I POAS this morning and it was negative. Granted I only had an IC left :( and even last year when  I tested on 15DPO for the first time the line on the IC was so faint DH disagreed it was even there.

So I have a few theories! Love my theories.
1. Best outcome I am pregnant. I know my body takes FOREVER to get rid of hCG so maybe it takes a while to build up levels too.
2. I ovulated late or even twice as I had very prominent watery CM later in my cycle and my temperature went very strange!
3. Not pregnant and the universe I laughing extremely hard at this little prank its playing on me!

Trying hard not to get hope up as my luck would have my temp crashing out tomorrow and AF arriving. Either way if that happens I have my appointment on Monday to look forward to.

Nervous

so, temp stayed up this morning but test was negative. My bbs are still strangely sore today more so than yesterday, but I haven't got any hope that I am some how pregnant.

I rang and made an appointment with the IVF clinic today! They fitted me in Monday morning at 10:40am.  I couldn't believe it! WOOHOO! Would be nice to get a shot this next cycle.  I know I shouldn't get my hopes up that we will but Monday will only CD3 thats good odds. Dr A recommended the 100mg of clomid again so I think i will do that and then if they have to give me a HCG trigger shot for the IUI there will be some eggs there to release.  If the clomid doesn't work we can try FSH next cycle.

Can't monitor how many follicles I have though seeing as you can never see anything due to my stupidly position uterus. Guess it will be a fire away and hope! DH and I will still BD in the hope that we can get some swimmers up there on our own as well.  I think u have to abstain for a bit before the collection of the sample for IUI but I am sure we can get one in before that time frame and then after the IUI!

I am so nervous and excited all that the same time.  I am worry that I have gotten my hopes up that this will work!

DH is still hopeful on this cycle.  Made me ask what the IVFs cancellation policy was.  They said I can ring Monday morning and cancel if I am pregnant. I guess its the outcomes we want so they will be happy for us.  They must know no one wants to go through all these hassles if they don't have to.

I filled out all the forms today! Some of the questions were funny.  One was, at what age did you start to develop breasts and grow pubic hair. I mean seriously I can't remember crap like that!

Bring on Monday I say!  Off to dinner tomorrow night for an early birthday celebration. My sister is home for the weekend so it will be nice to celebrate it with all the family!

I didn't get the birthday present I really wanted but hopefully I get it for a Christmas present instead!!!!

Funny thing I was thinking yesterday, This time last year I was blissfully, innocently pregnant.  In 8 more days my world came crashing down and changed forever!

Ahead we move

So as I think I said in my last post pretty positive we aren't UTD this month.  POAS this morning and Negative although not a surprise at all.  I have no symptoms.  I have cramps on the left but bbs aren't really sore, stabby pains every now and again but nothing to make me think even remotely pregnant.  Other than that I have very strange watery CM. Seriously AF is due in 3 days why do I have watery CM, question if I ovulated but I definitely have a shift even if my temp has been all over the shop this month. Starting to wonder if I even took the 100mg of clomid! I had absolutely nothing this month to indicate I had taken it! stupid strange cycle!

So anyway after POAS this morning and it being negative I contacted Dr A for a Referral to Dr D! My worry is that we wont get in soon enough and we miss out on this next cycle! :(

anyway Melbourne cup day today! YAY! Not that I ever do much but do get to leave the office at 1pm and thats always good!