Limbo Land

So here I am trying to regain my life! So far so good. Not much in the way of baby thinking going on and its nice. Went for a run yesterday, had a nice relaxing sauna, was like the old days.

But all this and for some reason I still have to come into my job everyday. I have to passion or interest in it anymore. I have so much work to do but I just can't be bothered. I was only here for maternity leave, so now I am not thinking about babies I don't see the point in being here. I do still have a ton of responsibilities and commitments so a job is definitely required, and this one pays well for what I do, so I am still stuck! YUK

I had a thought this morning, it would be so nice to open a pet motel. I LOVE animals. couldn't have enough of them, but by law you are only allowed so many. That or an animal rescue. So all those that have been at animal shelters too long and are on death row, I could take them in and house them until I was able to find a home for them. That would require a massive lottery win though. Even though it would be for a good cause I don't see me winning 10Mil anytime soon! I am sure the universe would rather give it to an 18year old who will blow it on clothes, cars, drugs and alcohol! It keeps giving my baby to them so why not that too!

LOL so cynical! Can't help myself.

One of my former SWB friends is in a little trouble. I have been praying for her and her baby. I really do hope they pull through with flying colours. Seriously the universe has some punching gloves on at the moment and just seems to be taking a swipe at everyone!

two of my other TTC friends are really struggling too. comes back to seriously how much can one person take? Seriously time to give them a ray of light and let them out of this dark tunnel you find the need to keep them in!

Summa is having some awesome UTD symptoms. I really hope this is it for her. I will seriously be coming at you with aeroplanes if your playing games with her!

Still trying to decide how I am going to manage to find a way to go see someone. Although in saying that I have been to see someone before and I know what they will say, and I know how to get myself out of this whole! I am tired of being a sad angry person, I want to be myself again and only I can achieve that! I need to stop dwelling and feeling sorry for myself and hard done by. I need to suck up my shit, swallow a mouthful of cement and harden the F**K up! I am not sure if this tactic will work but I have tried a few others and come up failure so this is the next one to try!