9w6d

My little peanut reaches double digits tomorrow! :hyper:

I am still really nervous.  seeing miscarriages happen so often is so scary.  We are up to 97 babies in the due it Sept thread.  So far 5 have sadly miscarried.  I went back to August, 91Babies, 13 miscarried.  :no: Thats just so horrible. With it being so close now the thought of loosing it now is terrifying.

I am still really sick.  Peanut throws up any food it doesn't like! It really really hates eggs.  Anything with egg in it, up it comes.  The headaches are really really bad now.  Almost at migraine level.  Last night was a shocker and I had no panodol in the house!  I thought my head was going to explode.  I eventually fell asleep and woke up this morning and it was gone! Its gradually coming back now though.  I am thinking of going and floating in the pool for a while to ease it.

All these thoughts of miscarriage have me checking peanuts HR a bit more often.  I can find it now really easily and within seconds without any pushing.  Its a very reassuring sound! Finding it fast means that I don't have to hold the wand thing there for too long.  I know they say its completely harmless at 3MHz but still the less the better!  Only 2 weeks to go! 2weeks3days until I come out of the pregnancy closet!  Its scary thinking not this week but next Wed I have to go do my NT Bloods!!!!!!! :eek:

So on other news, more stress in my life! I am not talking to my parents. They are being children! Long story short. Dad was just about to start a business with DH. DH resigned from his job and has been working there for about 2 weeks.  Dad decided in this time he wanted to leave my mum but still have access to her half of superannuation so they could get this business off the ground.  Mum got angry at me and DH for going into business with Dad after everything he did to her.  She refused to lend the money (which I can understand) So now business isn't going ahead. DH has to either find new work or go into another business.  All whilst he isn't getting paid, bills and mortgage are due, Baby on the way!  I get a massive pay out from my work in June, and I should get 3 months maternity leave but I was planning to be a SAHM because we want to have a few kids close together.  Unless I have a c-section we wont be using contraction after this one is born.  Its up to Breast feeding to stop me falling pregnant! Anyway, looks like I would have to go back to work after 3 months! GRRR

So I am thinking its finally time to take my photography hobby to more of a professional level.  I love doing portrait photography and it would be a perfect fit.  I have 10 months to get that fully up and running and hopefully if I can bring enough money in from that I wont have to return to my current work.  Being a scientist I have to travel to get work.  Only about an hour away but there is absolutely nothing out my way. :( I don't want to spend that much time away from bub.  I also don't want a day care raising my child.  I know we will work it out and we will make the best of all of this.  I just don't enjoy the stress of it at the time.

DH has never had the opportunity to do anything like this and he is scared, going into business on your own is a massive step.  But I just wish he saw in himself what I see in him.  I know he can do it and I know he will do it exceptionally well.  He will be a wonderful and brilliant father and he will doing a fantastic job at providing for this family.  Its just so daunting sometimes, even I know that.  I have always been a very driven, career minded person that knows what I want and works my a$$ off to get it no matter how far away it seems.  I am trying to build this confidence into DH.  Growing up in a family of 8 kids like he did you kinda blend into the background after a while.

Anyway enough rambling  and my headache is getting worse! Pool time.