12w1d

So I am feeling really apprehensive today its probably because I am extremely tried, ms is back and I still have that monster headache.

Thing is I have passed the 12week mark and I am not excited.  I am too scared about Wednesday.  I wish the scan was today. Wed feels so far away.  I know peanuts heart rate is sitting at 165 which is perfect for now but i am so scared I wont see what everyone else is seeing.  Everyone is saying they are seeing a little baby moving and turning and kicking, waving sucking thumb etc.  I know peanut was growing perfect and there should be no reason why it still isn't but its being back that fear of that first scan i ever had.  The excitement of seeing our little peanut for the first time.

I think its because I have passed that 12week mark.  I am expecting things to be fine.  I am excited to see how much peanut has developed but what if it hasn't? What if what I am hearing on the doppler isn't true? what if something is wrong?  I will get crushed again.

Oh man I am tired. lol

I am not announcing it until after this scan. But it does feel like so long away and its only 1day 11 hours to go!

Oh man I hope I get better sleep tonight! Seriously can't function!