I am sorry if I hurt anyone in the process I just needed space and even people TTC were to hard for me at that point. I was still hoping to follow your journeys with you but seeing as I am no longer TTC I figured I wasn't really entitled to be in any groups or anything.
I guess this came about because I have reached breaking point. So now I am at a crossroads not sure what to do. I find it very hard to know that I am going to hit my 28th birthday and still not be pregnant. There goes my dream of a big family. There goes so many dreams for me. I wasn't lucky enough to find the love of my life when I was younger, I wasn't lucky enough to start trying for kids when I had heaps of time to play with.
Even though I fell pregnant easily twice, I am now struggling to even fall pregnant on fertility drugs. Being off them now my cycle is probably going to be a mess, to the point my Dr recommended I stay on them. But there is no point if we aren't trying. And if I do fall pg now my chance of miscarriage is very high.
I have come to an acceptance that apparently I am not going to make a good mum and therefore am not entitled to kids. I have done something really bad throughout my life that I need punishment for.
I am currently working myself into the ground for a goal and dream I will probably never achieve. I have been considering fostering/adoption lately. but then i think why the hell should I look after someone else's child because they were too pathetic and incompetent to do it themselves when I am not entitled to one.
Anyway off topic. So again I am sorry for my fast departure the other day, but as you are all TTCers and thats how we became friends with me no longer TTC I had no right to be part of ur groups. I still think of you all everyday and still follow your journeys. I know you will all get your dreams one day and I truly do hope its sooner rather than later.
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