Slump

So I just got back from a run and I am completely stuffed. Unfortunately no matter how hard I pushed I couldn't shake this slump I am in :( I just kept thinking about the belly I would have and that my angel would have been here in 10 weeks :( Every time I thought that I pushed myself harder like it was one step closer to TTC again, but its not :( still so very very far to go. On the plus side I nearly ran the whole 6km! lol

I just wish we could be trying again soon. 9 weeks and 2 days till possible ovulation seems like a life time away. Then thinking about actually being pregnant again and it makes me scared. I don't know if I can cope with the loss of another one. The feeling I get at the thought of going to an ultrasound and not hearing a heart beat. I just feel that feeling of devastation flood over me :( To actually go through it would just be too much.

Stupid AF just wish she would hurry up and come and go, she probably has a lot to do with my mood right now! Hubby can always pick within a day if I am due for AF, perhaps I should ask him if he thinks I am due!

Oh well off to sand some doors and make dinner. The sooner I get them done the sooner I can start on the nursery!