It's hard

Well day 2 of control crying and it's definitely hard work! He is going down for naps well but usually takes one cry session. I know it's only day 2 but it still breaks my heart to hear him crying :( night time was good he only woke at 11:15 and 3:15 but he only took 140ml at 11:15 so not surprised he wanted another feed at 3:15.

I managed to unblock that duct last night which was good. Omg the relief was amazing! We went all day yesterday and last night without a breast feed. He had one this morning and one just now (2:30pm) I don't mind mix feeding my concern is he won't take the bottle properly. Before this feed I knew he was hungry he hasn't taken a full formula dose which I was just putting down to it being thicker than breast milk and might just take some time. Yesterday he did really well 180ml every 4 hours(for his age it should be 220ml) but this morning he took 80ml formula then 4 hours later only had 100ml expressed breast milk. I knew it wasn't enough so I kept trying to give him the bottle. 2.5hours of crying later I gave in a gave him the boob. I hate hearing him cry but I can't keep giving in because he well learn that I do and will always keep doing it because he knows eventually I will give in :(

I do miss breast feeding him though it's definitely a close bonding experience for mum and bub. I would love to think I can mix feed him, one breast feed in the morning would be nice. The snuggle cuddles in bed are one of my favorite times of the day.

We will get there though, I am wondering if he is teething too so that might be making him a bit more grizzly and clingy which of course doesn't help matters. He has no redness or anything so I am a bit reluctant to think it's that. Could be me dropping his night dose of losec? He seems a little refluxy but nothing like he was!

Some days I think it would be so nice to have a health nurse here or something just to watch him and me. Maybe I am doing the wrong things. For a baby that never sleeps which i am trying to get into a sleeping routine he always shows tired signs. I am putting him down at 9 and 3 but is this right? Should I be doing it another way? I am worried that I am doing it wrong and it will fail and we will end up in a worse position.

Again it's only day 2 so I just have to persist.

Body wise I am really wondering if AF is about to show up. I have so many of my old signs but I know with breast feeding things are different.

I want to send a big shout out to a fellow ttc friend who is still on that very hard road. Hi Cookie :) If anyone reads this please send sticky vibes her way! Please let this FET stick!

That's about all for today really. off for a ride or run when DH gets home from work. 15.7kg down 4kg till I am pre this pregnancy weight and 19kg till I am pre all pregnancy weight!

Can't believe it's February already! My sister is due in 6 weeks! Wow!