28w4d

Apparently they will be getting contracts to us tomorrow! Lets hope they come through this time.  At least then  I can get some advice and find out what exactly it is I am fully entitled too and if its nothing I still have time to get to my OB.

It doesn't help that I am still only getting about 2 hours sleep a night :( I go to bed at about 9pm, toss and turn for what feels like FOREVER! but eventually fall asleep.  I then wake up between 12-1am for a bathroom break and then thats it no more sleep for me :( I toss and turn and toss and turn! It really isn't helping me getting a better grip mentally on things going on around me :(

I am starting to really struggle with work.  After everything they are starting to put me through I am wondering why I am being so loyal. Can I really get through the next 7 weeks?  I think I am going to need to take some leave.  I have 12days sick leave up which I am going to loose on the 30th :( and 20days holiday which luckily I am getting paid out, but no wonder I feel like I am always here, I never take sick days and I rarely go on holidays.  the only sick days I have taken is when I had to go into hospital 3 times over the last two years for our angel babies and TTC issues. As we are such a small team and I am lab manager I feel like I can't take holidays even when I am sick.  Even during the 2nd miscarriage I had 1 day off and then came into work bleeding heavily wearing maxi pads because you can't wear tampons. It was horrible but I had no choice.

On the bub front, things are still good.  Been getting what I think is braxton hicks the last couple of days. nothing major.  The round ligament pain can get really painful some days but dealing with that too.  I also think I have started getting pubic symphysis pain too.  Its not too nice but I am trying to keep my frame of mind good in that I have been exceptionally lucky so far and with only 11w3d to go I am bound to start getting some pains. I am mentally trying to focus on working through any pain as training for labour.  I have flicked through the birth skills book everyone goes on about.  I can't keep my mind focus on it for too long, I find it boring and mostly its pretty logical stuff but having it pointed out makes you think about it more.  Labour is a form of pain but its good pain its happening for a good reason so being able to realise that and harness that is supposed to help you deal with it better! lol we will see!

bubs is in a bad position again for feeling it move.  I think it has its back facing out so I can feel it move but no kicks or anything.  I can feel what I think is kicks on my cervix and bladder.  They can get a little uncomfortable but as long as I am feeling movement I am happy and can put up with anything!!

Having so little sleep for so long now is really starting to play on my emotions.  I am getting so worried about peanut all the time and if its OK. I just want to lie down and go to sleep and recoup, but instead at 5:30am every morning I have to get up and come into this place. GRRR.

lol such a happy camper right now! I feel in a good frame of mind until I think about work!