Rough bumpy road

I have been having a few rough days, probably doesn't help being on AF and having a cold.

As i have mentioned, Now that we are all move the loneliness has set in a bit. There a few reasons for this. Mainly its because Tyler is so little most of his playing is at home on a rug. This is a little boring for me although i do love playing with him sometimes u need to do some other stuff. I keep the house clean and tidy so I don't have anything to do there, I don't want to do baking as there is only me to eat it!

I haven't had any motivation at all to do any exercise. Yesterday I sorted out my treadmill and things so today when Tyler goes down for a nap I am going to make myself do something!

My lack of motivation is something else though. I just don't see how any man would want to get involved in any of this? Tyler is young so I can't date. He is my one priority and he will always be more important than any man. Not sure how that would go down!

I have absolutely no one I can trust him with. Ex DH might be stoned so he definitely isn't going there. My mum is an alcoholic that has gotten worse and worse lately to the point where she lit up a cigarette while she was holding Tyler. Big no no. I would never say she has to stop smoking she is an adult but Tyler didn't ask to smoke so she should not be smoking around him. She just isn't thinking straight at all and I don't think he would be her top priority if she was looking after him. So that leaves no one. I have friends but they all have kids so I wouldn't leave him with them. Besides when I see them it's good mummy chat time.

This is a rambling mess. I am sure these feelings will pass. Being a single mum is hard and definitely lonely and u hope one day u might meet a lovely man but with the reality the way it is u find it hard to think how it could possibly happen!