So another day but at least it brings a little peace! Took my temp this morning and it went up. yep went UP! so I thought oh maybe! toddle off to the toilet POAS! surprise surprise a BFP!!! hahaha just kidding! it was negative!
So I have a funny feeling my body is following GS's and having a spas from the clomid but AF is definitely on the way! I have the heavy abdo feeling, the aching VJ like I am going to loose a gallon of blood any second. oh and so irritated today! Clomid PMS is BAD! lol!
But I am at peace! I can't do anything about it. I ovulated, i know my eggs work, DH has great sperm, We had clomid so I ovulated on time, we used preseed at the right time we BDed at the right time! I guess sometimes things just don't collide in the universe!
I was pondering in the car on the way to work this morning, I guess some people will always get the easy road to walk whilst some others will always get the tough one. Some times u do get things a bit easier, but most times its a real trudge up the hill!
So now I need to look forward to the next cycle! Clomid or no clomid! hmmm! Do I risk late ovulation? Could that have caused issues with me falling pg seeing as I have fallen twice with out it. Might wait till AF arrives and email my poor OBGYN again! Lucky guy gets to hear from me again :P I bet he can't wait for me to get UTD too! haha
So weird thing though had the oddest dreams last night! 3 separate full on dreams on getting that bfp. They were very vivid too. I only really fully remember 1.
Its a little fuzzy now, but I was at this house it was my aunties i think, and I was in one room, and I POAS, then my dad came and got me and we went into this big field and all i wanted to do was get back to have a look at the stick, but we went up this big hill and then we were back in the house, all my cousins were there and I was stressing someone had seen my stick, but I couldn't find it in that room, I didn't know where it was, I finally found it in another room it was sitting on top of a big brown dresser, sitting next to the box, I picked it up and read it. Positive, then all of a sudden my cousin was next to me in the room and saw my stick then again all of a sudden I was in this little dark kitchen with a round table and a low hanging over head light and my Aunt was there and my cousin was dobbing on my for my BFP. Then that one was over!
no I remember two
I was in a high rise building in like this geto and I was in a car with this guy just outside and we needed to leave cause he was being thrown out and I had POAS and it was up in his apartment, but he couldn't go back up cause this guy in there wanted to kill him, but i needed to see that stick bad, but if i went back up there he said I had to get stuff for him! so I did and i got out of the lift, no one was there, I went into the kitchen to grab all the pots and pans that he wanted, and a few other things and i ran with them into the bathroom to get my stick! As I went in there I put it all down because I couldn't find my stick, finally found it behind the toilet, as I picked it up the crazy guy was knocking on the door, I didn't know what to do, he thought I was the guy he wanted to kill, I was so scared, I looked down at my stick and it was a positive, I started to cry, he burst open the door, and saw me sitting there, he started to yell at me cause he saw all that guys stuff, but I just couldn't stop crying i was so scared and so happy, I held up the stick and showed him and told him the guy forced me to get his stuff, I just wanted to get my stick, and I told him I was pregnant. He completely stopped then and then put me in his car and we took off and he was saving me! That was the end of that one! lol RANDOM!
Don't remember the 3rd, I am surprised I remember 2! So yeah that got my hopes u a bit when I woke up! OH well maybe next round!
Berry
Tyler
Blake
Tuesday, June 15, 2010
Monday, June 14, 2010
2 posts in 1 day! wow
So I thought I was doing OK but being at work always sucks and makes it worse! Doesn't help that DH has gone home, had a bit of a mental break down this morning. Finally got through to him work was not a good idea and he should just go home!
But on another note the TWW really does suck sometimes. about an hour ago I was convinced AF was on the way, my back was killing me! now that I am out of the laboratory and sitting in my office chair its fine! Its fine when I am walking, just so very very painful with I sit in the lab chair! I haven't had that kind of back pain since my 2nd miscarriage in January. I still have CM so yep reiterating what i said this morning! CONFUSED! I think best option is to resolve myself to AF arriving and be done with it!
Thing is if AF is on the way fine just show up! 12day LPs have been normal for me the last few months! but why push it out to 14now! stupid body! stupid universe and its games!
GS, Nani and Summa still being my complete optimists! I wish I shared their belief. My hat goes off to those girls though they are stronger than they give themselves credit!
But on another note the TWW really does suck sometimes. about an hour ago I was convinced AF was on the way, my back was killing me! now that I am out of the laboratory and sitting in my office chair its fine! Its fine when I am walking, just so very very painful with I sit in the lab chair! I haven't had that kind of back pain since my 2nd miscarriage in January. I still have CM so yep reiterating what i said this morning! CONFUSED! I think best option is to resolve myself to AF arriving and be done with it!
Thing is if AF is on the way fine just show up! 12day LPs have been normal for me the last few months! but why push it out to 14now! stupid body! stupid universe and its games!
GS, Nani and Summa still being my complete optimists! I wish I shared their belief. My hat goes off to those girls though they are stronger than they give themselves credit!
confused!
So here we are again confused! not hard in this game of TTC! and seriously its just one big game that the universe likes playing with us!
So why am I confused. My thermometer was playing up this morning. Kept beeping early, would take it out of my mouth, go to look at it and it would beep again! Stupid thing. But I still got a .85 but I have no idea whats wrong with it! I got up to POAS seeing as I couldn't sleep anyway. When I got back to bed I temped again and it was .61 so who the hell knows. I know I can't really take anything of the 2nd one cause I had gotten up and sat on the toilet and watch the stick do absolutely nothing for about 10mins, so by the time i got back into bed I was freezing!
Also had a heavy chest cough when I woke up and some funky colour stuff when I blew my nose so I figured I'm just sick. But all thats gone now so who knows there either! I am tired but I feel perfectly fine.
But as I did allude to the test was a BFN!!!! :( I am more pissed off at myself for having such high expectations of it! oh well.
Now to the confusing bit! 11DPO my boobs hurt! without having to touch them they hurt and I mean really sore, BUT although they are starting to feel fuller they don't have the veins and the sore nipples! the cramps are there but have eased off, they are more on the right today. the creamy CM is in abundance today even though I am still dehydrated. So its all pointing toward pregnant but still it was a bfn!!! see one great big giant game!
I want to say I wont test again until Friday morning at 14DPO if AF hasn't shown but my POAS addiction is a little too strong for that! If my temp is still up on Wednesday I might test then.
I am going to go do some work now and stop myself from becoming the crazy hatter!
So why am I confused. My thermometer was playing up this morning. Kept beeping early, would take it out of my mouth, go to look at it and it would beep again! Stupid thing. But I still got a .85 but I have no idea whats wrong with it! I got up to POAS seeing as I couldn't sleep anyway. When I got back to bed I temped again and it was .61 so who the hell knows. I know I can't really take anything of the 2nd one cause I had gotten up and sat on the toilet and watch the stick do absolutely nothing for about 10mins, so by the time i got back into bed I was freezing!
Also had a heavy chest cough when I woke up and some funky colour stuff when I blew my nose so I figured I'm just sick. But all thats gone now so who knows there either! I am tired but I feel perfectly fine.
But as I did allude to the test was a BFN!!!! :( I am more pissed off at myself for having such high expectations of it! oh well.
Now to the confusing bit! 11DPO my boobs hurt! without having to touch them they hurt and I mean really sore, BUT although they are starting to feel fuller they don't have the veins and the sore nipples! the cramps are there but have eased off, they are more on the right today. the creamy CM is in abundance today even though I am still dehydrated. So its all pointing toward pregnant but still it was a bfn!!! see one great big giant game!
I want to say I wont test again until Friday morning at 14DPO if AF hasn't shown but my POAS addiction is a little too strong for that! If my temp is still up on Wednesday I might test then.
I am going to go do some work now and stop myself from becoming the crazy hatter!
10DPO
Back from our anniversary holiday! was nice but a bit of a complete fizz in the romance department. Just another holiday! It was relaxing at least! DH and I ended up having a massive fight on the way home due to his lack of effort and then again last night. We are talking at least so thats a start.
So I am 10DPO and still bfn! Which is understandable it is early but I have put so much pressure of myself to get UTD this month, with the 4 months of not being able to try and then our little girl's due date!
Stupid thing was I had two digital tests and they were both Duds and got an error! thing was when i was throwing them out I noticed they both had 2 lines on them and got excited! Then to realize on a digital test two lines mean nothing cause it tests for LH too! stupid thing.
My mind isn't up with my body! I have my cramps on the left which is always a sign, my (.Y.) are sore, not like they were the first time but they are! Last time they didn't really take off with the pain until about 11DPO but something inside me is saying no! I don't know what it is. my temps are great and everything is pointing that way! but I just don't feel it! Maybe just trying to keep myself from getting too excited in case it doesn't happen!
I don't know its getting to D-day and I am getting so nervous! still 4 days to go, seeing as my temps are so high I should at least have a 14 day LP.
Try to be patient Shel!
So I am 10DPO and still bfn! Which is understandable it is early but I have put so much pressure of myself to get UTD this month, with the 4 months of not being able to try and then our little girl's due date!
Stupid thing was I had two digital tests and they were both Duds and got an error! thing was when i was throwing them out I noticed they both had 2 lines on them and got excited! Then to realize on a digital test two lines mean nothing cause it tests for LH too! stupid thing.
My mind isn't up with my body! I have my cramps on the left which is always a sign, my (.Y.) are sore, not like they were the first time but they are! Last time they didn't really take off with the pain until about 11DPO but something inside me is saying no! I don't know what it is. my temps are great and everything is pointing that way! but I just don't feel it! Maybe just trying to keep myself from getting too excited in case it doesn't happen!
I don't know its getting to D-day and I am getting so nervous! still 4 days to go, seeing as my temps are so high I should at least have a 14 day LP.
Try to be patient Shel!
Wednesday, June 9, 2010
OMG OMG OMG
OMG OMG OMG! Took my temp this morning! 36.90! It has NEVER been that high! And when I woke up to take my temp I noticed my left (.Y.) was aching so I touched them and they are aching at the base! So maybe just maybe something is starting!
Got my progesterone bloods taken this morning so it will be interesting to see what they come back at.
Had some of the weirdest dreams last night I wanted to put them down but DH is getting antsy because we are going away this morning and I need to go get some stuff done!
Off until Sunday afternoon so I may get a bfp while I am away! That would be such a nice anniversary pressie!
Hmmm getting all excited now, so a little worried I have jumped the gun and it wont be anything but we will see!
To my girls, chin up while I am away and you know I am here for u just give me a call if you need me!
Got my progesterone bloods taken this morning so it will be interesting to see what they come back at.
Had some of the weirdest dreams last night I wanted to put them down but DH is getting antsy because we are going away this morning and I need to go get some stuff done!
Off until Sunday afternoon so I may get a bfp while I am away! That would be such a nice anniversary pressie!
Hmmm getting all excited now, so a little worried I have jumped the gun and it wont be anything but we will see!
To my girls, chin up while I am away and you know I am here for u just give me a call if you need me!
Tuesday, June 8, 2010
Life can be tough!
So I am a little no more than a little worried about a few of my TTC friends. (they are more than just TTC friends now but for the purpose of here I will use that!)
Life can be so harsh and its really getting them down. Completely understandable too! It is moments like this I wish I did do medicine so I could actually do something for them! I know its a waiting game, but I would have gotten GS scans straight up checked those progesterone levels straight up, none of this waiting crap! 1 test at a time to rule it out! I do understand you have to trial things and there is no guarantee it will work but do some investigation first and during! Sometimes I really do wonder if these doctors understand the pain this journey can put us through, its fine for the to say wait 12months and then it may take another few months to work anything out but they don't have to live with that EVERY SINGLE DAY! If I was a little younger i might rethink that career path!
I am still holding out hope for GS! I know she has lost it but I can't help it. I had such a good feeling this month for her so until she gets AF I am going to hold onto it! I know 38 is low but low progesterone doesn't stop you falling pregnant (unless its REALLY low and bub can't implant cause lining isn't squishy!) but it could be the cause of the short LP! So bubba might get made but doesn't have time to stick! Perhaps a round of progesterone is worth a try. I am really hoping Dr A can find some answers for her!
Nani is still struggling a bit with the m/c :( again this is completely understandable it was only just over a month ago, it does take time to heal! I really hope the clomid works for her this round. With that she seems to be very fertile! Clomid doesn't work for everyone first round especially if they weren't properly ovulating in the first place!
Summa finally has her DH home for 7 days! YAY! and at the right time! WOOHOO! happy dancing for her all the way home! I hope this is the time for her too!
These girls really need some thing special to happen right about now! It might be time to up my fertility dance!!
AFM nothing much to report! 5DPO temp staying high which is good! I am in limbo period now, too early to feel any possible sign of pregnancy and getting onto getting close to when I should! Its around now you start to get scared your lack of symptoms means you aren't pg at all!
I am also a little scared about things to come in the next week! 1. If I don't get my bfp, my little girl was due on the 26th, and a bfn might just amplify things a bit no a lot for me! I have been able to keep my mind off it, although it is hard seeing so many girls starting to get their bellies and the nursery pictures. I would be 38weeks! Oh well best not dwell! I am happy for them all that their journey is heading in the right direction, just makes me sad sometimes. but 2nd and the bigger one If I do get my bfp! I am scared how much pain it might cause some people. But having said that I wouldn't give a bfp up for anything, I'm sorry I just couldn't. I do however wish I could help in some way! Help them to get to the dream they long for so bad!
Life can be so harsh and its really getting them down. Completely understandable too! It is moments like this I wish I did do medicine so I could actually do something for them! I know its a waiting game, but I would have gotten GS scans straight up checked those progesterone levels straight up, none of this waiting crap! 1 test at a time to rule it out! I do understand you have to trial things and there is no guarantee it will work but do some investigation first and during! Sometimes I really do wonder if these doctors understand the pain this journey can put us through, its fine for the to say wait 12months and then it may take another few months to work anything out but they don't have to live with that EVERY SINGLE DAY! If I was a little younger i might rethink that career path!
I am still holding out hope for GS! I know she has lost it but I can't help it. I had such a good feeling this month for her so until she gets AF I am going to hold onto it! I know 38 is low but low progesterone doesn't stop you falling pregnant (unless its REALLY low and bub can't implant cause lining isn't squishy!) but it could be the cause of the short LP! So bubba might get made but doesn't have time to stick! Perhaps a round of progesterone is worth a try. I am really hoping Dr A can find some answers for her!
Nani is still struggling a bit with the m/c :( again this is completely understandable it was only just over a month ago, it does take time to heal! I really hope the clomid works for her this round. With that she seems to be very fertile! Clomid doesn't work for everyone first round especially if they weren't properly ovulating in the first place!
Summa finally has her DH home for 7 days! YAY! and at the right time! WOOHOO! happy dancing for her all the way home! I hope this is the time for her too!
These girls really need some thing special to happen right about now! It might be time to up my fertility dance!!
AFM nothing much to report! 5DPO temp staying high which is good! I am in limbo period now, too early to feel any possible sign of pregnancy and getting onto getting close to when I should! Its around now you start to get scared your lack of symptoms means you aren't pg at all!
I am also a little scared about things to come in the next week! 1. If I don't get my bfp, my little girl was due on the 26th, and a bfn might just amplify things a bit no a lot for me! I have been able to keep my mind off it, although it is hard seeing so many girls starting to get their bellies and the nursery pictures. I would be 38weeks! Oh well best not dwell! I am happy for them all that their journey is heading in the right direction, just makes me sad sometimes. but 2nd and the bigger one If I do get my bfp! I am scared how much pain it might cause some people. But having said that I wouldn't give a bfp up for anything, I'm sorry I just couldn't. I do however wish I could help in some way! Help them to get to the dream they long for so bad!
Monday, June 7, 2010
4DPO
So we are slowly ticking on! YEP have to love the TWW. At least I only have today and tomorrow left of work then off for 5 days straight! We are going away for 1st wedding anniversay to a nice farm in northern NSW! will be nice and snuggly! :)
But very busy day but I just wanted to share an email my DH sent to a friend. Very cute and he has definitely been around me too long :) hehe
Hey Mate. So far so good. Shel only just ovulated..well we think in the past few days. So another 2 weeks before we will have a clear picture on fertilisation. Fingers crossed we are hopeful things will go well this time around and even better if we get a positive this Saturday as it’s our 1 yr wedding anniversary. So much more prepared now. It is amazing how much things change, puts a whole new respect to having kids. Looking back we were so naive!
Anyway back to it!
But very busy day but I just wanted to share an email my DH sent to a friend. Very cute and he has definitely been around me too long :) hehe
Hey Mate. So far so good. Shel only just ovulated..well we think in the past few days. So another 2 weeks before we will have a clear picture on fertilisation. Fingers crossed we are hopeful things will go well this time around and even better if we get a positive this Saturday as it’s our 1 yr wedding anniversary. So much more prepared now. It is amazing how much things change, puts a whole new respect to having kids. Looking back we were so naive!
Anyway back to it!
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