2nd Antenatal class

so we are home from our 2nd antenatal class and I have a few things to think about following it.  It covered a normal vaginal birth and pain relief. The vaginal birth was fine, I planned on this, it was the pain relief that was an eye opener. I always wanted to try and do it naturally but now even more so.  Firstly I think if I give in to an epidural I will feel a sense of failure.  I know that sometimes when labour is very difficult it is well and truly needed. For me though I really want to try and push it and only have one if there looks like no other option.  I have nothing against women who do have them,  pain is relative for every woman and we all have our personal choices. For me though I know how I think and I know if I have one I will feel like a failure.

Other than that aspect all the drugs really worry me.  I have a higher risk when having an epidural this I already know but if you experience this they give you this drug or experience that you get that drug to counteract it. Far too many drugs coming into play here.  As I said if it becomes necessary then I will have one but I will try my hardest. I also don't like the other things that can happen, like the need for forceps and suction due to the decrease in muscle strength and possible pushing power.  I definitely do not want pethidine.  This is for certain,  it crosses the placenta and I don't want our baby having any narcotics.

I do have a book here birth skills,  I know in my mind I have been mentally working through the thoughts of labour.  How I think I will try to work through the pain but perhaps it is time to pull out the book and have a read.  I have been having trouble reading it because it is stuff I am already thinking but perhaps if it the fully naturally way I want to go toward then getting all the arsenal might be very helpful.

I have more facts now which is good too and this will help me through the process.  I focus on time.  If I know that I have say 12-14hours in the first stage, 6 hours in the 2nd and 2hours in the 3rd then I will work toward this.  If you are hoping or thinking it will be shorter it will be harder to work through it. If you expect the worst and it turns out better its always a nicer thing to deal with.

Other than that it did get me thinking about the changes it would make to down there.  To date its something I have not wanted to think about.  We will be using an epi-no from 34weeks to help reduce the chance of tearing and hopefully it does but seeing the video tonight OMG the trauma that is caused to that area, the stretching. It definitely will never be the same again.  Everyone says about feeling the head as it crowns or watching it with a mirror.  hmm no thank you, yes I want to experience a natural birth and look forward to feeling my baby come out but I prefer not to think about the damage being done.

On another note headache and sickness still there! Its OK though I will deal with it. There are worse things!  I have started getting pubic symphysis pain, pretty bad really.  Its getting very painful to walk but again its all in the mind. If I let it get to me it will.  I just have to push though it. I am still going for my daily walks which are very difficult with the pubic pain but also the round ligament pains but they do make me feel good so I am going to continue unless I really physically can't walk!!

Well just wanted to get out my thoughts on the natural birth.  I still have some things to think through and discuss with DH so he knows and understands my wishes so when in real pain and perhaps weakening in my resolve he can remind me why I made the decisions I did.

Back to watching origin!