Not finished

OK so I am not finished on my rant yet!

The thing that gets to me is that I am in this middle ground of limbo land!! Although I have been TTC for over 13months now no FS is really interested because I have been pregnant twice. Although I have lost them no Miscarriage clinic isn't interested because its only been two.  So it leaves me here trying away.  I will probably have to wait till we get to 12months of trying before we will get anywhere.  That will then be  18months for us then.  I keep thinking I am sure we will get there. I am sure everything is fine, but I am 2 years off 30 and we wanted a big family.  I am sad that it might not happen.  :( we might be lucky to even just get 1. Of course I will be over the moon with even just 1 if thats all we get but to always have imagined a big family, the thought of that not happening just saddens me.

Its also frustrating because now I have no idea what I am doing wrong.  If we had never been pregnant I might think there is a problem and go seek help. But now I have no idea what it is. What the hell is going wrong!!!

Nothing I can do about it though. Twiddle my thumbs I guess. 7months! I really do hope we manage something on our own in that time.