hmmm

well i have to say i am definitely looking forward to the public holiday tomorrow. Cramps are rather strong at the moment, and i have a back ache too. so still 6 days out from AF but if things stay this way it may make an early appearance. Still feeling really off in the stomach, put that with some cruel heartburn and i just feel super. May just be that I am so exhausted. Going to sleep in tomorrow and generally take it nice and easy. Supposed to be raining too so perfect for a relaxing day. Might pop out in the morning and pick up some new books to read.

I actually feel like a nice warm bath but our bath here is in our spare bathroom and its so not relaxing. Still has the original 1980's design and has hot red vanity top and shower edging. That is high on our list for renovating!! but yeah not exactly a great place to go and relax in a nice long bath!!! A hot shower will have to do instead! hmmm warmth!

SO EXCITED

SO I got an email before my shirts have been shipped! So I should get them by the weekend. I don't know if I am going to get my positive then but if I do I can do my little surprise for DH!

Odd

OK so I know its WAY to early to be feeling anything much, so I have to put it down to something else but I am feeling really sick lately. I had more sleep last night which was good, but my tummy is still really off today. Just feels really queesy. its different to the m/s I had the first time, which was just ill when I hadn't eaten. This is all the time. I feel like if I don't take it easy I will throw up. Very strange. If I turn out to be UTD wow that was early on set!

That and my BBS are weird sore. they aren't sore all over yet, but I keep getting these really strong stabbing pains in them. Maybe just the progesterone having a play with them.

But the Ginger drink I have seems to settle it well. while I am drinking it anyway. Been having a ton of them everyday lol! Have to go grab some more tomorrow.

YAY public holiday!!! So excited! Days off are so good! Not sure what I will do yet, chill a bit sounds nice though.

well off to work!

Ahh MONDAY!

I love Mondays!!!! NOT! Agh I had no sleep last night, added to that I feel sick again this morning :( had trouble keeping my breakfast down. simply because I am so tired! What is it with no sleep on Sunday nights! BOO!!!! :(

So on an exciting note I bought some shirts this morning for when I do find out i am UTD! I want to surprise DH this time, so I got a "Daddy to be" shirt for him and a "Baby on board" shirt for me :)

So plan would be to wrap his and when I POAS and see the positive I will pop my shirt on and a jumper over the top (hoping it we find out in winter that is!!) and then jump back into bed and give him his pressy! When he opens it as he sees it take off my jumper at the same time so he can see my shirt!!! and BAM!!! happy surprise!

Problem is it takes 5-10 business days to get here after manufacture so now I am worried they wont make it on time. I am really hoping this Saturday is it for me. I have a really good feeling. My intuition is usually really good, but I have been wrong before so who knows.

Seriously though could do with a longer weekend sometimes. But best get back to work only 7 hours to go!!!

Good feelings

I have to say I am feeling really good at the moment. Really positive and happy. I don't know if we will get lucky this month but even if we aren't I know I will be OK. I have good feelings that we may get lucky but if we don't it doesn't matter. I have spent so much of the last year since my m/c wrapped up in all the negativity surrounding TTC. I am not feeling any of that anymore.

I guess I ultimately feel lucky. I have plan B which is IUI and IVF, I don't think we will get to that but the plan is there anyway. But I heard from a TTC friend yesterday. It had been a while and I just wanted to check in and see how she was going. She had 3 m/c :( poor thing. But she had a heap of bloods done after the last one and they all came back clear. So she had genetic testing done. So has a genetic disorder where she only has 45 Chromosomes not 46. :( my heart just broke for her when I read that. its apparently 1in 1300 which is really rather common which is scary.

She found out her mother and brother have it to. So for her to be able to have a healthy baby she has to go through IVF genetic selection and then match it up with one of her DH's swimmers. Its going to be a hard road ahead for them and heart goes out to them both.

Things like that make me realise how lucky I am. No matter how hard you may think you have it someone else is always having a much worse day! :(

On another note I watched SATC2 and the back up plan again last night. Two fantastic wonderful girlie movies! Was wonderful to spend some girlie time with my sister. Don't get to see her much anymore as she lives interstate. But she has finally met a man and they are talking about being engaged by the end of the year and married next year. I am so excited for her. Its about time she met the man for her. And he seems wonderful. We always knew once she met the right one it would be a whirl wind relationship. So looks like my kids will have cousins from my family around the same age. YAY!

We had a joke about her falling pregnant before me. She was like oh no i wouldn't do that to you! I just said she was an idiot. I would be so ecstatic if she fell pregnant. That would make me so very very happy. Just because we have had a shit journey doesn't mean people should have to tip toe around us. I have dealt with my cards and moved on. I wouldn't wish this journey on anyone EVER! so nothing would make me happier if she fell pregnant and carried to full term. I would love a little niece or nephew.

Well enough blabble for one Sunday best get ready to head out for a nice sunday morning breaky and the markets.

Sick

I have no idea why I insist on punishing myself but why do I come to work when I am feeling so unwell. Not sure what it is. Feels like my stomach is in one big knot. It comes and goes in waves. Feels like I am going to throw up, then I am OK for a bit then all over again. So not nice! And I have a smashing headache to go with it. I had a dream I drank a cup of black tea last night surely that shouldn't be sufficient to give me a migraine!!! lol

I worry about getting sick at points like this because I wonder if it impacts on possible implantation and things. Nothing I can do about it of course, but still annoying.

not sure I will last much longer here, maybe an hour.

Oh and the other thing. Stabby pains in my left BBS! whats that about. and they hurt when pressure is applied. I only know this because I am baby sitting my mum's two dogs and her maltese shitsu is a complete space invader so lying in bed he gets up on my chest wanting a pat and cuddle. Its so painful though I have to push him off. I know its nothing I am only around 5DPO. but seriously what is the universe doing playing all these games.

Weird thing is I remember the first time I was pregnant I pretty much knew straight away. Took ages for me to get a positive test though. Would be nice for it to be this month. An April baby would be nice.

Been having dreams of me being pregnant lately. Nice big belly bump. So vivid and long. I am having them so often I wake up and it feels weird to not have a massive belly. Hopefully soon though. Must be my subconscious tagging along with my constant conscious thoughts.

Well best get some work done so I can go home! :( at least its Friday and I have an awesome weekend planned. My sister is up for a course so she is staying at ours on Saturday night, DH is away at a mates so we are going to have a girlie and watch some typical chick flicks!

we have lift off

Very happy today. I have definitely ovulated, happened either CD13 or 14. I had what I think was EWCM yesterday, although it was a little more creamy so it may have been yesterday or the day before.

Why so happy, well I ovulated all by myself at the perfect time. Even if I don't fall pg this cycle, I am so very relieved that finally my body is working again. I am what I would say 1 or 2 day DPO and my temp is already 36.58 so it is creeping up to a nice decent temp.

so the only thing that would make things even better this month would be to see a positive in 13days. Heres to hoping! :)