Very sensitive post

For those go might get upset reading about anything to do with gender disappointment please do yourself a favour and don't read any further.


So since finding out our little baby is a boy I have been going through very extreme emotions. It's not the gender disappointment people expect. I am happy this is a boy he is who he is and I can't wait to meet him and hold him and watch him grow. The feelings I have are in regards to the girl I so badly want. I don't know why I want a daughter so bad. I always saw myself with a girl, I always wanted to be a mum of a daughter. She doesn't have to be a girlie girl into dolls or anything like that I simply just want a girl who ever she turns out to be.

This want has been making me so angry and sad all at the same time. I am tired and with me stupidly thinking this was a girl I thought I was done. I could get on with having my family etc. being a boy means there is no way I can stop at 3. Problem is there is only a 50/50 chance it will end up a girl and having so many boys its likely to be a boy again. How many boys can someone have before the urge for a girl goes away? I never saw myself with a massive family.

This being the case I have been doing some researching on overseas options for PGD gender selection. This of course brings another whirl wind of emotions.
There are so many women having to go though Ivf and PGD for medical reasons this would be a choice for a little girl. I feel guilty about this but I can't help this pain I am feeling. I can't go through the pain of hearing yet again we aren't having that daughter. Sure every boy I had I would love I don't doubt that but every time I would have to grieve that little girl.

I'm angry that I am having to resort to this or even think about it. This too makes me feel guilty because again their are women out there struggling for a baby at all or who would have given anything for their baby to be healthy.

I feel like I'm not entitled to these feelings. That because I have 3 healthy boys I should be happy with that.

I considered hypnotherapy to get rid of that want feeling but after doing some reading women who had tried this say they go through these waves of emotions again and again trough out their life. I don't want to get to 50 start going though menopause and really regret not giving it everything I could have for a girl. The science is there why can't I take advantage of it? I have given the world a good share of boys why can't I have 1 girl?
I wish I could have done it naturally but it wasn't meant to be.
So I am looking into how much it is to do it with Genea and their overseas Thailand lab superior ART. We would be looking at early 2015 if its possible.
I don't know if it is, maybe the law in Australia will change before then I know they are reviewing it this year and if it does great make it all so much easier but if not i would still like them all together just have to assess over the next 12month the options and start saving. I will lose weight after bub is born to get down to 75kg to ensure we can go ahead with it all.

It's a difficult decision to make but gender disappointment is real.