Finally losing it!

My mind that is! I finally at breaking point!
I was told that around the 4 month mark was when having two close together would really hit home and omg I guess it well and truly is.

We are on about our 3 week of sickness and the constant crying and whinging and not eating and 1million poos a day is really driving me to the batty house.

First was me with gastro. I had it 24 hours had to look after the kids couldn't even be sick and then Blake got hit with it. 2 week later of watery runny poos and 120g lost I took him to the health nurse that said put him on lactose free for a week, give his gut time to repair after the gastro and he should be fine. Straight away it worked and I couldn't have been happier to see a normal poo.

Tyler for about a week or so had been super duper clingy not sure why, wont let me leave him with anyone else. Balls his eyes out at day care, refuses all sleeps and cries and cries for hours. Anyway 3 days after Blake finally has a normal poo Tyler wakes up from his nap with a temperature and F'ing spots all over his trunk. GREAT! The temperature abated pretty quick but he has a green snotty nose and a horrible chesty cough. NOT F'ING HAPPY JAN!

So he isn't sleeping well at night is refusing all day naps won't eat any food. All in all horrible.
Now Blake is being really unsettled and won't have any awake time with out whinging and crying so I am thinking he has been hit with it too and it's only a matter of time before the external symptoms appear.

I don't know if its day care that has stuffed Tyler's day sleeping routine but he has gone from 2-4hour naps down to 40mins- 1hour on a good day. That and all the sickness he is bringing home I am really wondering if day care is worth it. At first it was great for time out to get done what I needed to but lately it's made it so I have no time out at all day or night. We were in a great routine and now it's all stuffed up.

This will be day 3 of no day nap and an over tired feral child. I try everything even lying in bed with him but he just won't go down to sleep. So he has been getting to 5pm and he isn't one of those kids that if tired will just fall asleep. Oh no he screams the house down like he is being murdered.

All in all I am just completely exhausted.

B has started gambling again, my maternity leave from the government is about to run out and we are back to the no way of paying bills. I have tried to talk to B about it but its always a disaster. Family is what is important to me not money or material possessions yet he works 7-7 everyday including weekends to put money back into a business that's not even supporting our family. Honestly what is the point? Go get a job that covers the bills and is a 9-5, 5 days a week and actually spend time with the boys. It's falling on deaf ears and I don't know what to do anymore. I am tempted to go on antidepressants not because I am necessarily depressed but to give me a false happiness so I don't have to emotionally deal with this constant crap anymore. Something like Valium to dull the senses and emotions. B loves drama a has to have it in his life. It's a horrible way to live.
I want a comfortable home, the bills to be paid, food for the family and I'm happy. Going to the park with the kids or the beach etc are the things I enjoy doing. At the moment we do nothing enjoyable.

Please let a break be coming soon.

On another note my first AF arrived and was exactly when I expected to. 27days post stopping bfing and 14days post when i predicted I had ovulated due to all the signs. Good to see my body is working. There is no way I am having another one though. At this point there is far to much crap to sort first and at this rate I won't have another. It's not fair on the child.
I'm not going back on the pill. I want my body to have a break from all the changing hormone stuff and just be allowed to be. So seeing as my relationship with B is so crap right now anyway I don't see anything happening in the bedroom!

Well might make another attempt at putting Tyler down for a nap. Here comes WW3!