Happy 1/2 birthday

Happy 1/2 birthday to my littlest man. I can't believe it has been 6months already.

Certainly starting to look like I have a hormone imbalance of some sort. Lots of EWCM again today so that makes it 6days in a row. Wtf! So I haven't ovulated and there is certainly now way I can fall pregnant now. It's been 6 days! On a complete off miracle some sperm may last 7 days but I do highly doubt that. I was thinking 3-4 and that was severely pushing it.
I doubt I have PCOS but it did mention thyroid but I'm sure i had that checked recently too and it was normal.
Might be worth a trip to the drs soon though because something is up. I have this mouth ulcer that is so painful. Then there is the tiredness. I slept from a out 9-6 last night and I still work up completely exhausted. I have been taking multivitamin etc for a while now and my diet although low cal does contain lots of salads and veggies and protein.

I have to take Blake in for his needles next week I might book me in at the same time. Just get some bloods done or something.

Stress can alter cycles and cause mouth ulcers but I don't feel stressed. I always have money on my mind but that's been going on for donkey's yonks so it should be affecting things.

Honestly just don't know. Maybe a night away where I can just sleep is on the cards. I love my boys but maybe I just need a reboot.

Scratch that!

So I'm back to having absolutely no idea what my body is doing!
Lots of EWCM tonight. About the same amount as cd13! Today is cd15. That's 5days since DTD so if I haven't ovulated I think its safe to say we are safe sperm surviving for 5 days is a big stretch!
So frustrating. Oh well probably for the best.

Meditation

Maybe its time to take up meditation or something!
My mind won't stop ticking over and its exhausting.
Well my cm has definitely changed. I had the tiniest amount of EWCM yesterday morning. Nothing like cd13 and I had thermal Shift cd13 and 14 in the afternoon. I tried taking it in the mornings but as Blake has been off I can't get a decent reading and the temp still says no ovulation. I'm up for at least an hour or 2 before I get a chance to take my temp. So honestly I don't know. Going by everything else I would 100% say I ovulated on Tuesday.
I mentioned to B last night about the whoopsy and he was like but ur AF just finished and something along the lines of so ur telling me u ovulate like 2 weeks after ur AF.
I had to laugh nearly 2 years of ttc#1 and charting for a full 8 months and he still had no idea how it works. I explained yet again that cd1 is the first day of my AF and I ovulate on cd13 sometimes 14. I have had some late ovulation a but in a normal cycle and with both Tyler and Blake I ovulated on cd13.

I have been thinking about not falling pregnant this cycle. It would actually be really weird. I'm expecting a bfn and that would be completely normal but in my mind I keep thinking if we don't why not? What happened? Is something wrong! Lol I know stupid but everyone always says Ben shouldn't look at me when I ovulate as we are or were super fertile and him just looking at me and I fall pregnant.

Then there has been some other stuff going through my head. This is on the complete opposite side. I am so tired and run down at the moment that I have a mouth ulcer on my throat. I haven't had one of these for nearly 8 years. They are so incredibly painful. :( Blake isn't sleeping through, I have been dream feeding him at 8-9pm to try and get him to sleep later. It's worked once and he slept until 6.last night was a shocker for both. Blake woke up crying multiple times, Tyler work at 5, I tried a couple of bottles then he did a big poo and I simply could not get him to go back to sleep.
Blake is really irritable and spewy. I don't know if its the solids or reflux or his formula but even hours after eating he will still be gassy and when he burps he spews.
All up they are certainly wearing me out and in those early hours of the morning from 2-5am when at least one of them is up I think there is no way I could have another baby. Then I have my morning coffee and feel a little more human and having another one is all I can think about. Especially a little girl. I would love a little boy too but I can't lie I have been praying to the powers that be every few minute to please let me have my little girl. I would like this 3rd bub to be my last but I know if its another boy I would have to go again .i actually look at people with little girls and feel a pang of jealousy. I can see me with a daughter. Ever since I wanted kids and started thinking of having them back when I was 22 I always saw me with a girl.

Anyway getting side tracked again. I have always hated the tww!

Now we wait

So the amount of EWCM I have today would certainly indicate ovulation in the next 24hours. That makes DTD 3days ago. So tomorrow will put me in the tww.
I know there is every chance I won't be pregnant but our history of DTD when not on contraception other than when I had blocked tubes we are 4 out of 4.

I just keep wishing a little girl spermy to find the egg!
I did a quick calculation if I do end up pregnant bub would be due 27th feb and the age gap would be identical to blake and Tyler. Blake would be 1 week off turning 15months! Whoa! I haven't said anything to B yet as I know there is a 1 in 4 chance I will actually be pregnant and those stats were for a 27year old. I'm 30 now so probably like a 1 in 6 chance of falling pregnant each cycle.

It's not when we planned it but if it does happen then it was just meant to be :)
I hate the tww already!

Trying to keep myself very busy with this 12week challenge. It's frustrating though as I am 3kg heavier. Another sign I'm about to ovulate. That will drop off again in the next day or 2. Enjoying the exercise though I am feeling really good for it and loving being back into my size 12-14 clothes.

500

Wow post 500! I have been at this blog a long time though I suppose. 500 seems like so many though.

Well of course our whoopsy on Saturday night has my mind in over drive.
I know the chance of actually falling pregnant is very slim, I haven't even ovulated yet and am not due to until tomorrow or Wednesday. That's a long time for swimmers to have to survive. It's only 3-4days but that seems like ages!

I'm not enjoying the cramps I'm getting. It's the same as the last 2 cycles. Really painful high on the left. :( I got midcycle spotting starting cd13 last cycle so will be interesting to see if I get that again. I think that may be what delayed ovulation last cycle. Because I ovulated around 9days after that.

Even if the whoopsy doesn't eventuate into anything I would like to see a normal cycle this time. 30something day cycles are just annoying.

Oh boy!

So today is cd11. Last night B had way too many wild turkey's and forgot to pull out. Way TMI sorry about that.
I have EWCM today. Hmmmm.
Last 2 cycles my body has taken weeks to actually ovulate and I didn't until cd20 but I didn't get EWCM this early last 2 cycles.
Cd10 is early when normal cycle I would ovulate cd13/14 so we may be fine.
Will find out in 2 and a bit weeks I guess.
If we did make number 3 its more than likely a boy. Other than being days before ovulation and me being on calcium, magnesium and cranberry we did nothing else girl conception related.
I am highly doubtful but the possibility is there. When we were thinking about starting ttc in late aug I wanted to dtd cd9/10 and stop to improve chances for a girl so if I do indeed ovulate in the next few days our history would say very high possibility.

Finally!

Well looks like AF is finally here. Yay! About time. Will be cd1 tomorrow so I did ovulate late like I thought I did. No idea what on earth happened to my temp though. I did actually get one 36.61 reading on cd20 so looks like it was actually right and i ovulated cd19 because that's bang on normal LP for me. It's good to know even with a late ovulation I still had a normal LP.

So something I haven't mentioned lately is through all this mess of my cycle I actually put on a few kg. Thursday last week I weighed in at 90.1. Omfg I could have died :( its normal for me to put on 3-4kg the days leading up to AF but I wasn't to know it was coming at the time.
Anyway i started a 12week challenge on Saturday. So far I am smashing it. Weighed in at 86.5 today lol like I said it was AF fluid bloat but yay still feels awesome. I am really sore from all the exercise but I am going to do this! One day at a time one foot in front of the other.

Watch this space!