Toy sales!

So I braved the toy sales today and I think I did well. I could have brought A LOT more!

I got birthday and christmas pressies. I still want to get him a small table and chairs, some ball pit balls and some abc blocks from bigW but all up done!

I am going to head to bunnings on the weekend and get the stuff to start making his height chart and bed. I didn't end up getting the train set to put on top of his toy box he is just too little for them so I will just get the toy box and then the train set for a future birthday or Christmas.

I got the car seat I wanted. Its from 6months - 8 years so now i don't have to worry about a new one until bub grows out of Tyler's current one at around 4.

Off to the baby and childrens expo
Tomorrow with some of the mums from my sept mums group. It is going to be a big day out. We are catching the train in. It's going to be Tyler's first train ride. Exciting. Although he is probably too young to get any of it.

I am hoping there are some bargains at this expo, maybe a Strider plus on expo sale? Lol wishful thinking i know.

I am pretty sure I can feel bubba bean. 16weeks tomorrow so it's around when I thought I would. It's only little pitta Patters but its pretty distinct. Yay!

Well I am exhausted after a big day at the sales.

These are what I am spoiling Tyler with :)

OB appointment

So I had my appointment this morning and it was great to see bubba bean again. Still so surreal to think there is a baby in there and seeing it jiggling on the screen but not being able to feel it.

Everything is super though got all my blood results and everything is great. I weighed myself this morning and still haven't put on any weight which is great seeing as I am nearly 16weeks!

Off to the toy sales tomorrow to stock up for Tyler's first birthday and also Christmas. So excited.

I am stressing about money again :( so much to go out in the next month or so. I have my pregnancy management fee which thank goodness is 50% off in subsequent pregnancies. That's still $750. Then I have my 20week scan which is about $240. Then a new car seat which is 50% off at the moment but it's still $170, then the pram is around $600. Then I have Tyler's birthday then there is Christmas. I will be moving mid August and that always costs a fortune. I really want to start preparing Tyler's big boy room. It's something I want to be able to give him when we bring the baby home. Most stuff I want to buy 2nd hand and do it up. It all still costs money though :(

Oh well enough depressing thoughts for today! Little man is up from his nap so better go get him :) at least cuddles from him make everything feel better :)

Home sweet home!

Finally home after 5 days in Canberra. Omg how on earth does anyone live there is SO cold!

It was a very busy time, we stayed with B's brothers family. They have 3 boys, 4,2 and 8weeks. There house is complete chaos!

Tyler's day routine got all messed up but at least he still slept through the night.

First thing I did when I got home well after I got Tyler down for a nap was check on bubba bean. All is good. I suspected it should be as the bump is bigger but I still can't help stressing. Have an appointment with dr A Wednesday morning so it will be good to see bubba again. 15+3 now so hoping to feel some movement soon.

Not much else to check in about just so very glad to be home!

Cup of tea time I think. Although it's 5:15pm Tyler was so completely exhausted I am just letting him sleep. Poor bugger.

9 months

The little man turned 9months yesterday. Can't believe how big he is getting. He loves walking around with his push thing, loves clapping and waving, can do this when i say clap or bye bye. Still not much of a talker but he had never been much of a babbler either. He talks himself to sleep but other than that he is mostly quiet unless he actually wants to say mum or dad.

I am pretty sure I felt bubba bean move last night. Drifting off to sleep and I felt 3 very distinct taps. Looking forward to them being stronger and more regular.

I have a video of the little man waking around with his toy but I can't load video on this app. Won't be long before he takes off on his own, he is getting confident and definitely has the strength and stability.

Heading interstate tomorrow morning. not looking forward to the cold, it's cold enough here at the moment :(

Been giving some thought about starting a natural clean diet. I wouldn't do anything to affect bub and this would probably be good for it. Lots of clean fresh food, no preservatives, low salt and no processed sugar. I have no cravings this pregnancy so far and I do just feel like eating clean food. The thought of fat and sugar just make me shudder. It's a good reason to get out of the house Sunday morning and go to the fresh food market.

Playcentre!

I finally found a play centre that has a great under 5 section and they let adults into the play areas so u can take them into the bigger one too!! Tyler loves it. Well at first he didn't. I went with my mums group on Wednesday and it was such a huge sensory overload for him :( he just hung onto me and if I tried to put him down he was so scared and started crying.

I tool him back yesterday though and he had a ball. Not to the point of giggle happiness but he just wanted to explore.

He has more teeth coming through, I figured out his biggest teething symptom his nose runs like a tap! I kept thinking he had a cold for like a whole day lol which is silly bit last time his 2nd tooth had popped through the next day. I haven't felt to see if he has another one this morning still enjoying my morning cuppa.

It's raining here this morning and I LOVE sleeping when I can hear the rain anyway that and me having to get up 5-6 times a night to go to the bathroom I just couldn't do 5am today. So I changed him, gave him a bottle and put him back to bed. He slept till 8am! Wow. It's a real time of day lol.

We have started organizing the combined Sept baby birthday party and I am thinking I need to start preparing for Tyler's. I don't have much money so I will need to this on a strict budget so starting now will mean I can bargain hunt a bit more.

Little man is calling!

13+6 pic

I took a pic this morning. Omg seriously I am only 13+6. I haven't put on any weight yet but I look 6 months pregnant!

I am over my anger of the other day! It's amazing how one person can make u so angry!

Little man is going great. He stands on his own for 20-30 secs now and is definitely building in confidence.

We went to a play centre yesterday with some of my September mums. It was fantastic! Tyler was very overwhelmed at first and cried whenever I let him go but he eventually warmed up and loved it. Definitely going to make it a regular thing.

We have started planning the big birthday catch up. Looks like it will be early to mid Aug as some bubs were actually born in late aug. We will do it at this play centre as it's absolutely brilliant for kids of all ages. I thought it wouldn't be any good for little ones that can crawl but not yet walk but the under 5 sections was perfect for them.

Can't believe the little man will be 1 soon. What an amazing year and being a mum is everything I imagined it would be. Love u more than anything little man :)

angry and sad

I often wonder how you can be so very wrong about a person but time after time people seem to shine bright with their best! NOT!

So here I was thinking B had finally started to turn around. He said he wanted to go get help, proper help, but he hasn't, he finally got some money in for some work he has done and when ever I have contact with him he is listening to horse racing so my guess is he is gambling still.

honestly I couldn't give a rats about what he does in his life what makes me super angry is he makes absolutely no attempt to be a better person for his son, he still wants to visit him and have play time but takes no responsibility in being an actual parent, he gets sick of him in a few hours and rings me to pick him up.

I want to put in proper visitation rights so something can be set out in terms of ensuring Tyler is properly looked after in terms of naps, feeding, clothes etc when he is at B's place. In order to do that I need to put in a plan that covers things like holidays, sleep overs etc. WTF  why should I have to go with out my son because he father couldn't be bothered to get off his arse and go to work and actually provide for him? I am bending over backward to ensure that B has visitation rights while he sits back and does didly squat. I am getting so angry at this.  I know he is still smoking pot. I still don't trust him at all to look after him properly yet I am trying to do the right and mature thing and let Tyler see his dad.  I know he listens to horse racing while Tyler is there and I would really prefer he not gamble in front of our son. I also can't be garanteed that he isn't stoned whilst Tyler is in his care. BUT apparently I have absolutely no rights in ensuring this isn't happening. Its unsafe for my son yet somehow the law says B should have visiting rights.

Angry doesn't actually even cover it. I am so very disappointed in this man. I married him and had a child to him thinking he was a different man. I feel so lost right now and I have no idea what to do. I want to take him to court and fight him over this and ensure that if he does get visitations that he has regular drug testing, that he doesn't gamble around him, that he actually feeds him and puts him down for naps when he is tired but of course I have no rights as a mum to ensure this. I also don't have the money to even try.

damn now I can't stop crying. F**K him!